Category Archives: Dogs

Test test 1,2,3 is this thing on?

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So yea, its like 2/3 of the way through July and I haven’t posted since mid February. Way to stay consistent Brock. Ah well screw it. Nobodies perfect. I always said I wouldn’t post just to post if I didn’t have something to say. Not that I have anything earth shattering to say right now, but I thought it prudent to reach out to you loyal readers and tell you I am fine, all is good and I pooped three times today. I feel like million bucks.

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I got one of these with a buddy of mine. There was another but he’s in the freezer now.

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I turned these into this for mothers day this year. She was happy. I’m a damn good son.

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I am going back next month with a couple of these to fill up again.

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I got some of these.

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To ride one of these

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This one isn’t mine but I borrow him from time to time. I’m going to get my own.

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These three are still with me. Stop! Shut up! and Get Down! We keep shit real.

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Its almost Football season. Thank Christ!

So there you have it. A small pictorial to catch you up on the happenings these last couple of months. There is more, but for now I’ll close and just assure you I have more posts coming along.

So be nice, be safe, and enjoy your time here.

Semper Fi, and Let ‘er rip tater chips.

Hello October!

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What’s new trusted and committed reader? I hope this update finds you well in this post Breaking Bad pre Walking Dead purgatory we find ourselves in.

Me? I’m good. In my last update I mentioned a new member to the pack at home. Coconut Head has made himself at home and is as thick as thieves with my other two scoundrels I call my best friends. We’re one BIG happy family now and things are running smoothly. IMG_1503

Can you guess which one is the alpha pack leader?

You know when a dog has accepted you as their master and trusts you completely. He / She will come up to you without provocation and lick you on the face. Genetically from when dogs were wolves a face to face licking is a sign of submission and acceptance. This hasn’t changed in any dog breeds or since man has domesticated the animals. Today for the first time since I brought him home, Coconut Head my Mastiff came up to me this morning and stared at me then licked my face. Now I was on the throne taking a shit at the time, but we keep things real in my house so it was all good.

If I have learned anything in life from dogs its the following. Dogs simply do not care who you are, what you do, what you look like, how much money you make, or how much you lie through your teeth trying to convince others that you are all the things you are not. In the simplest of terms if you can show an ounce of compassion, love, and leadership a dog will accept you, love you back and follow you to the grave. How much more simple can life get? We as humans often over complicate relationships and look where we end up? Oh and one more thing. Never say never. I swore I’d never get another male dog, I swore I’d never get a smaller dog. I also swore I’d never get three dogs. Yet here I am finding the most honest of life’s pleasures of owning three male dogs, and the profound simple enjoyment of being appreciated for providing a decent home to these animals by the mere lick of the face while taking a morning shit.

My next serious relationship with a woman I am simply going to state up front, love me and I’ll love you. Lead me and I will follow. Be honest with who you are and I wont care. From time to time I may lick your face when you take a shit to show you how much I love and appreciate you. (ok maybe not the last part but whatever, never say never right? She may be into that kind of thing)

I am convinced we can get a heck of a lot further in life and in happiness if we take a few lessons from our dogs. In the words of Walter White, “Cheer up beautiful people this is where you get to make it right.”

I love October. Besides being my birth month, October is one damn fine month in Florida. The weather usually breaks down here. By breaks I mean it goes from 90’s to 80’s on average with a slightly easier humidity point. Yes, it feels like fall. It has to be fall. Pumpkins are showing up on church lawns, and grocery stores. Walmart has Thanksgiving and Christmas shit out already, so it has to be fall. Three weeks into football season. My Harley is getting washed and ready for some road time. It is fall!

Let ‘er rip tater chips.

Changes

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cookWhat’s up faithful reader? Hope this update finds you well. I certainly can’t complain. I have some news, some observations, maybe a rant or bitch or two and well lets get into the meat of it all and waste no more time.

Lately I have been noticing change. Change in everything really. Obviously things need to change and change is natural. I don’t mind change at all and if I am prepared for it.  I usually welcome change. However I am a firm believer in that once a person or item or situation reached its fundamental pinnacle of perfection or awesomeness then it should be left alone. Of course this doesn’t work with everything otherwise things become stale and life would be boring. So although I preach and welcome the idea of change there is just some shit I wish would be left the hell alone. I’ll give an example.

Fruit Loops! With the exception of raisin bran or oatmeal I probably haven’t ate cereal in twenty plus years. Recently I have delved back into the realm of sugary children’s cereal for breakfast consumption. Now back in the day before all this Michele Obama healthy eating school lunch bullshit and other organic natural food kick there was an entire population of Generation X kids like myself that mainly subsisted on Fruit Loops, Happy Meals, and Totinos toaster oven pizza.

Last week, I bought a box of Fruit Loops Cereal. Right across the top of the box, right above that crazy fucking Toucan Sam with his LBGT friendly rainbow snout is the words, “made with whole grain.” I was like “oh thats nice a healthier option for the kids with anal parents.” I search throughout the grocery store shelves for the “old school gangster” Fruit Loops. You remember the kind made with white enriched full gluten crackling goodness in the three basic colors, and lacquered in pure sugar and the finest of high fructose corn syrup that left the milk in the bowl a rainbow tinged slurry of milk sugar that could keep a kid going all day.

Here I am slinging boxes of this fake Fruit Loop crap behind me in my quest for the real Fruit Loops of my youth. After standing in a pile of semi healthy boxes of Fruit Loops at my feet, and garnering more then one dirty look from a passerby and the fat pig in the electric cart who could not pass my General Mills cereal barricade I realize this new healthful brand of Fruit Loops is all there is for sale. Pissed off I grab a box (hey I am not a quitter and will try anything once) and I punt my way out of the pile of Fruit Loops around my feet swearing under my breath about another lost childhood staple and how the world is in a downward spiral to hell all somehow connected to this new bullshit healthy whole grain version of Fruit Loops.

The following week, I crack open the box one morning and pour a bowl full out. Right away I can tell the actual bits of cereal while still round seem to be smaller and more dense then what I remember of the crack like full puffiness of the originals. Secondly theres about three to four more neon colors in the cereal that I know were not in the original version. I pour in some milk and resign myself to the passing of another staple of my childhood. The taste was ok I guess, and while there was some semblance of the sugary milk payday at the end, it was just not the same.

Why did we have to screw with Fruit Loops? What did we gain? A generation of children grew up eating the old Fruit Loops. Hell Fruit Loops are generally the first real food babies are given to eat. My mother poured the cereal out dry onto the tray of my high chair and I ate those circles of sugary goodness before I could say my name and not crap my diaper. This is where I do not believe in change.

IMG_1476Good Change? A little over a year ago I said goodbye to my angel Golden Retriever Lucille due to cancer. As of this afternoon I now have three dogs in this house with me. A Cocker Spaniel, a Mastiff bulldog mix, and a full AKC Dogue De Bordeaux. Yea I know I haven’t quite got past the point of wondering if I am slowly slipping into “crazy cat lady” like insanity but so far so good. Everyone is getting along, no aggressive posturing so it looks like the pack is growing in size.

His official name is Coconut Head. All my dogs are named after characters from the movie Cool Hand Luke. I pretty much have the main characters of the movie covered now. Lucas, Dragline and now Coconut Head. (Coco) for short. Coco handles all the bets for cool drinks. “Coco we got us a bet here!”

In reality I don’t call any of them by their names. They are all referred to some size of “nug” or nugget. I have Little nugget (short for butt nugget) middle nugget and now big nugget or big nug. mmm yea no really I’m not losing my mind at all.

Anyway this is probably it for me. As I look around the house its not crowded and there is plenty of room for the four of us, but as it stands I can probably only comfortably walk these three dogs at a time. Its also probably on the threshold of lunacy I’ll have to try and  explain away to any future girlfriends I may invite over here.

More good change is Apple finally released the new iOS 7. Lots of people commenting that it looks cartoonish etc. In the end I am finding it a step up in the right direction from what we had with version 6. When it comes to electronics and computers most people get used to something and denounce change but in the end change is good in this case. The evolution of computers and science is based on change and without change well we cant hope to survive as a species. iTunes radio is also about six weeks away from driving the first of the numbered few nails into the coffin of Pandora internet radio. You heard it hear first folks. Watch.

Anyone been watching the final season of Breaking Bad? I’m on that every Sunday night like stank on shit. I am going to be sad when the series ends this next Sunday, but with change there is always something more. Saul Goodman the slick assed lawyer from the show, is getting his own series on AMC. Yep “Better Call Saul” is getting his own show. It will be a prequel of sorts detailing how Saul Goodman came to be the scumbag lawyer we all have come to love. I personally can not wait.

That’s about it.

Let ‘er rip, tater chips!

It’s been a while

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It’s been awhilelucillelight
Since I couldn’t
Hold my head up high
And it’s been awhile
Since I said, “I’m sorry”

A year ago tomorrow I lost my Golden Retriever, Lucille to cancer. The hows and whys have been discussed and documented in this blog over the last year so I wont bore the audience with rehashing of the past.

I have been thinking about this approaching anniversary with mixed emotions. I wont lie its been mostly dread and sadness. Dread and sadness because I find myself slowly forgetting the small things about the dog. Her smell, her soft fur, how she would follow or look at me when I talked to her or her paws smelling like Fritos. The tangible things we take for granted. I’ll always carry her memory in my heart and mind, but the small things with time slip away.

I have rescued a couple or new dogs since Lucille has left, and while I have just as much an attachment to them as I did to her, its not the same. I didn’t hold these dogs at a week old. While I know both these new dogs are as happy and content to be here with me now, and the happiness I have in looking at them in their gratified lives there are times I still miss Lucille and wish she was here. All in all I guess I am right where I expected to be mentally a year later. I give myself a C+ or 73%

It’s also been a while since I posted up any McAwesome recipes over in the food section. Well fear not, its summer and its BBQ season. I have been experimenting on brisket and ribs these last few weeks.

BBQ is such a subjective issue with people. It doesn’t matter if I made ribs, chicken, or whatever standing next to Jesus H. Christ himself and my food was touched by the hand of the son of God. People are generally particular about what they consider good BBQ and thats BBQ that they make themselves or were raised eating.

Another reason this is true is because with the exception of a very few restaurants across this country making and selling true low and slow BBQ for profit is a no win proposition. To properly smoke a brisket takes 12-15 hours. Ribs 5-7 hours. Pulled pork 10 hours. So most restaurants cheat the BBQ and cook these meats conventionally in a more expeditious manner to remain profitable. This is the biggest reason when you go out to eat BBQ why its generally just ok. Nothing to knock your socks off or better then what you have done yourself at home following the most traditional BBQ cooking methods.

Well I have been playing around with my ribs recipe. Both my spare and baby back loin ribs and I am making and eating ribs in less then one hour and twenty minutes start to finish. If you didn’t see how I do it, I could put the ribs up with any restaurants and frankly enter them into BBQ contests and Im sure half those idiot judges would passing grade them.

I’ll put a rib recipe up in a few days with the trick. There will be true BBQ enthusiast controversy involved in the manner in which I get them done so quick, but then you can ask yourself, “Do I want ribs like within an hour or do I want to plan an entire day around them?”

Let me get this next part out of the way for the NSA and Uncle Sam in case they are reading along too. “Eat my ass!”

Nothing is private anymore folks. If you don’t want others knowing your business don’t put it out there.

That’s about the size of things. It’s a new day and a new week.

Let ‘er rip tater chips!

Shelter From the Storm

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Dragline on CouchSuddenly I turned around and she was standing there
With silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair
She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns
“Come in” she said
“I’ll give you shelter from the storm” -Bob Dylan

It’s another Wednesday and by now we’ve all probably have succumbed to the notion that the weekend has left us and we’re faced with another mid-week of skullduggery in the work place.

Nothing new or much to report. I pretty much have been getting used to two dogs in the house these last two weeks. It’s been smooth sailing so far without even the first problem with two male dogs in the house. Both play, get along, and tolerate each other well. I was rather nervous at first, but those apprehensions weren’t founded.

Don’t take my guns! Wait. What? Fifteen year old girls can buy Plan B contraception over the counter without parental guidance or prescription? HOLD THE F’ing TRAIN! Stop the presses. This ladies and gentleman is the height of republican hypocrisy.

Heres the bottom line folks. If you do not want your underage daughters to be able to run into a drug store and buy over the counter contraception without a prescription, then very simply…..don’t raise them to be sluts. Be a parent, teach them values, morals and to have respect for themselves. Teach them the values of sex, love and trust and how each is required with a good dose of maturity to navigate the world of having sex and making love. Do all those things and you wont have to worry about them running into CVS to buy Plan B because she snuck out her window and banged Hector the lawn maintenance guy on the air conditioning compressor in the back of the house.

You want your guns and assault rifles left alone, and you claim as long as we’re all law abiding their existence and availability is ok. Then same goes for Plan B being sold over the counter to those young ladies who may need it. You should have nothing to worry about you’re raising your daughters with morals and trust, this doesn’t affect you so don’t think you can assert your will and opinions on others just like you don’t want someone telling you that you don’t need an AK-47 or AR-15 assault rifle.

Now for me, I want my assault rifles, high capacity magazines and all the Plan B I can get my hands on. Why? Simple. Generally the majority of our population is lazy and you’re raising thieves and sluts. I need the weapons to protect myself and property from your sons and the Plan B to screw your daughters.

Semper Fi do or die,
Let ‘er rip tater chip

Tennessee Stud

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CashThe Tennessee Stud was long and lean
The color of the sun and his eyes were green
He had the nerve and he had the blood
There was never a horse like the Tennessee Stud – Johnny Cash

Been a long strange week and theres no better way to hold the line then with some Johnny Cash.

Some idiots decided to take out their frustrations of not making friends, money, or getting laid in this country by assembling some crude explosive devices and deploying them against innocent people in a popular foot race in Boston. Some people died, some people lost legs, some people lost their faith in the simple notion of public safety.

Then as has been proven time and again in this nations short history, when things are down we pull together and stand as one. Its a shame it takes such extreme devastation to look past religious or political differences to come together as a nation as was evidenced this past week in the subsequent killing and capture of the two suspects.

None the less we live in different times now. Its not up to our government to protect us from every idiot retard kid with a gun or extreme idealogical asshole with a pipe bomb. One needs to be vigilant and aware of their surroundings at the mall, NASCAR races, football games, or the movie theater. If somethings strange or your gut tells you somethings not right, move along or tell someone.

The kid that lost both his legs, who later in the hospital told the FBI/authorities the bomber looked him in the face, placed the backpack/bomb at his feet and then walked away only two and a half minutes later to have the bomb go off may be hailed as a hero. The fact remains, he unknowingly stood next to a goddamn bomb, after watching the bomber place the pack at his feet and did nothing. While hindsight is always 20/20 in this day and age if you’re out in highly congested areas and some jackass sets a rather large backpack on the ground and moves away in a fashion like he/she isn’t coming back you get your ass out of dodge too.

American BulldogIn other news, I adopted another dog from the local animal shelter. In keeping with my tradition of naming all my animals after characters from the movie Cool Hand Luke, say hello to Dragline.

Drag is about a three year old American Bulldog, Pit, Mastiff and anything else. About a year ago the local no kill shelter got him from the Humane Society which was going to Buddieseuthanize him the very next day. Dragline at the time was heartworm positive and not in good shape. We got him cleaned up, healthy again, and now he is thriving and in my home with my Cocker Spaniel, Lucas Jackson War Hero.

Both dogs are getting along without any overt our outward aggression. I keep my eye on them since they’re both males and when any sizing up to see who is the alpha between the two starts to take place, I get in the middle and show them that neither of them are in charge that I am their pack leader. The last few days around here have been lots of exercise, discipline and love. Rinse lather repeat. Its working.

Guns and the second amendment has been a pretty hot topic these last few months. I will admit I felt good about watching a dejected Obama cry on TV about his gun legislation not getting past the senate. As if I needed to state publicly, I am not in favor of ANY additional gun control. Not “assault” weapons bans or magazine capacity limitations. I do not support private sale background checks. If a government agent can come to my door with a thirty round magazine in an assault type weapon, as long as I am not a convicted felon I should be able to meet that force with the exact same level. Period the end. Its not about hunting, its not about need. Its about simple unalienable right!

.45 auto 1911Last week, a friend of mine whom is new to firearms and shooting wanted to go to a gun range and shoot. I offered my services since any opportunity bring someone new into shooting and firearms with some level of safety and respect is a good thing. I have plenty of guns, been shooting all my life so away we went.

We drove to a brand new indoor rage not to far from here. Plenty of staff, new accommodations and equipment. Gun rental, ammunition, eye and ear protection you know the scene.

After a short questionnaire and hold harmless releases, all new members watch a five minute range safety video. No problem I think and we head over to a small tv in the corner of the establishment.

Its a Saturday, business is good and there are plenty of people in the shop both customer and staff. My friend and I are about a minute into the safety video, the front counter is over my right shoulder behind me where business is being conducted. People buying range ammo, renting guns, having personal weapons safety checked for used on range etc.

Then it happens.

FUCKING BLAM!

In all of about 1/2 second I automatically know what the sound is without even flinching or turning my head. My lady friend who has never really shot or been around guns jumps about three feet straight up. I position myself between her and where the sound came from. I think in my head, “ok we’re at a gun range with clearly armed staff, we’re not being robbed, so the next thing is accidental discharge and I am going to look over there now and see someone bleeding out on the floor if they weren’t already dead.” Remember the elapsed time from gunshot to me making sure my friend was ok, to turning around knowing what I was going to see was all of about 1/2 to 3/4 of a second.

I look over, sure enough accidental discharge. No one is down, no one is bleeding. Good sign. Some young kid staff member had the sense to point the customers weapon into a safe direction while either clearing a jammed weapon or handed a loaded weapon from a customer. I never got the full story, but the rest of the staff didn’t beat the shit out of the customer after the fact so I suspect the staff was trying to clear a jam, which was successful albeit through the wall behind the cash register.

While the entire establishment is deathly silent and in disbelief, I rather loudly proclaim “maybe you guys (staff) need to watch this movie too.”

Everyone is ok, the staff member chokes his balls back out of his throat and excuses himself to go change his pants.

I knew this wasn’t going to be a good start to introducing my friend to the pleasures of shooting and gun ownership. However she was a trooper and continued on. Nervously.

I had my heirloom reworked 1911 .45cal that my grandfather carried in WWII and my father carried in Vietnam. I rented a nice Luger .357 roll gun for my friend as she was interested in revolvers. Now you’re probably thinking “you gave a woman new to shooting, who just stood 10 feet away from an accidental discharge a .357?”

First timersYes I did. I am of the opinion while I have her here go big now and get it over with. You know what? She shot it too and believe it or not with all things considered she did very good with it. It is in fact too much gun for her, but I reassured her this is all part of the process of finding a personal weapon. You shoot a bit of everything, but now she has pretty much as far as kick and power, shot the worst of the worst. Granted there’s the .44 mags and .50 hand cannons but we already know those will never be a part of her arsenal. We put a box through the .357 and .45 and she tries both. She’s never really been around an active busy gun range and shot at the same time, plus with being unnerved with the slight episode in the lobby, she did do well. I was proud of her. We’ll go again to the range and try other guns. She’ll get more accustomed to the sounds and smells, and she’ll one day pick a gun to call her own. All in all a successful fist trip.

Let ‘er rip, tater chips!

I paint a picture of the days gone by…

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When love went blind and you would make me see
I’d stare a lifetime into your eyes
So that I knew that you were there for me
Time after time you there for me

The year was 1989 and Skid Row was exploiting the popular trend at the time of the heavy metal power ballad. Its a toe tapper. Now I feel dirty.

I must hurry and change the subject to more manly items.

My niece and my brothers dog Spook.

Spook_Charlotte

She’s almost two and thats my brothers pit bull hanging from his rope. There is a small knot he bites and hangs there. The dogs half retarded and has breath that smells likes ass but he’s a good dog, and has never been aggressive towards Charlotte. Charlotte isn’t afraid of him and they play and tolerate each other. Being reasonable dog owners my brother isn’t very far when the two are together, but in any event, this is proof breed has nothing to do with the perceived notion of dog aggression. How you raise a dog and your pet responsibility holds all the cards to how your animal will behave around people.

Something else comes to mind and seems to work the same way. Guns. Imagine that. We can pass and or overturn breed specific dog laws and ordinances, but somehow we think if we eliminate certain assault weapons then we’ll magically be safe. Anyone see the irony in this?

Ugh, people are stupid, particularly the ones working in Washington DC.

People for years have asked me about computers, help them with computers, ask what computers to buy. I make no bones that for many years I have made a decent living making Windows based Microsoft products work. I don’t look that good fortune in the gift horse mouth. However anyone that has asked me in the last five or six years what computers to get I answer in the following way.

If money is an issue and you don’t care about shit software, constant vigil over virus protection, and operating system upgrade or patch up, then go with Microsoft Windows. You have some extra money, and want something that just works and is not a pain in the ass go spend your money on Apple.

MacBookPro

Six years ago, I got rid of every single Microsoft product in my house and I haven’t looked back. Today I have continued that trend and upgraded my 2007 MacBook with a brand new model MacBook Pro. I have some work projects coming up and worked a deal with the ol’ employer. I am as happy with this new laptop as I was with the first one six years ago. You pay a premium for Apple products, but there is a reason. Its not junk. Fit and finish, function of the operating system and it blows Windows shit out of the water.

I’ll continue to earn a living making Microsoft products work. When I come home and want to use a computer though, Its going to be an Apple product. Call me a fan boy, I don’t care. Show me what you can do with your Windows product and I’ll show you I can do it better faster and easier with Apple. At twice the price, but I sleep at night knowing when I use my Apple products they will work without aggravation.

So all of you I have steered towards Apple products, I just want you know, I practice what I preach.

Today is TGIF. Its also pork tenderloin with apricot mustard sauce dinner day. I’ll snap a few pictures if it turns out ok and post it in the recipe section. Pork is pretty lean and I’ll throw in some squash and zucchini to health it up a bit.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Take Away This Ball and Chain

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Well I’ve searched and I’ve searchedLuke
To find the perfect life
A brand new car and a brand new suit
I even got me a little wife
But wherever I have gone
I was sure to find myself there
You can run all your life
But not go anywhere

Another Monday and another arduous start to another week. Ugh. Hang in there we’ll suffer together. Strength in numbers and all that good stuff.

First things first. Good news not so good news regarding the new Golden Retriever I was going to adopt. Good news is I found out his real name. Its Endo. Traveller is really Endo. Not so good news I didn’t adopt him from the animal shelter. Good news is last weekend his owners showed up and claimed him. I was a little bummed but more then anything I was happy Endo found his real owners, or more accurately his real owners gave a small shit about him and came looking for him. Glad he’s back where he belongs with his family. Folks if you have pets particularly dogs do the following:

  • Put a fucking colar on them with at least a goddamn tag and phone number
  • If your dog is an escape artist, or you’re a retard who lets the dog run free microchip the dog
  • If you’re going to let your dog stay outside,think aggressive flea and tick control
  • If your dog is sick, take him to a vet

So Endo went back home where he belongs which is good. Hopefully his family takes a little better care of him. The real happy ending is that what the animal shelter is there for and trying to do protecting and getting animals back home or to a good home is actually working.

Moving along…

I did not watch the Golden Globe Awards last night. I couldn’t give any less of a shit about what the Hollywood elite was wearing or their imbecile thoughts on say, global warming, or how bad Taylor Swift is in bed who keeps scaring off men and then writing songs about it. I swear if that broad could go down on some junk as well as she can pen an new blistering song about the poor bastard that took a try with her, I would champion her music until they found Jimmy Hoffa.

What I did do this weekend however was quite monumental. In fact it deserves trumpets and angels playing harps! It’s so big I question whether I have the strength and words to convey such amaze balls here on this little blog. Can you guess what I did? Are you sitting on the edge of your seat? Are you sweating bullets waiting for the big reveal? Are you reading along skimming forward a few words at a time for a spoiler about what I did? Are you screaming in your head “YES, YES, YOU SON OF A BITCH TELL ME WHAT YOU DID!”

Are you ready?

Are you sure?

Better sit down.

I pressure cleaned the driveway. My driveway has returned to middle class white suburbia with a nice fresh look. No longer am I that house with the mildewy driveway. I am now back in the ranks of “hey some clean give a shit dude must live there driveway”. I won the war against my driveway pressure cleaning procrastination. It was a long fight. I was up against the ropes from about October through December, but damn it, I fought the good fight. I was knocked down with power naps, NFL, Moonshiners and Axe Men but I got back up each time. I said to myself “you can do it, follow your dreams Brock, don’t let any nap or intriguing TV tell you that you cant have a nice clean driveway again”. So I kept fighting and getting back up like Cool Hand Luke and I was like “Kick a buck, Kick a buck” adding money to the pot in the poker hand of Brock versus the pressure cleaned driveway. Driveway and life against me all folded and got out of the game, and I won, with nuthin’ because sometimes having “nuthin’ can be a real cool hand!”

Then I made some raisin bread. See?

That’s about it for the weekend. Productive. Hope yours was too.

Peace and love or at the least non-violent acceptance in a friendly manner.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

First TGIF of 2013 and its all downhill from here.

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I recently read a great account about General Robert E. Lee at Gettysburg. Lee’s horse was named Traveller and was almost and damn near as beloved as General Lee himself. I thought to myself “Traveller” would be a good name for a baby boy.

See I would name my first son Traveller, Wolfgang, D’Artagnan, Patton, or HecktorJulioJesusMachoComacho, if said son was born of a questionable alien status of a rather latin mother with an incredible ass.  My name is Brock for Christ’s sake. I just cant name my first son Joe, or Mike. (no offense to any Joe or Mike out there) I have a heritage of naming first sons rather unique and masculine names to uphold. <insert Luca Brasi paying respects to the God Father Don Corleone on his daughters wedding day here>……Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your home on the wedding day of your daughter. And may their first child be a masculine child.

To my knowledge, I am not required or have been consulted to name any sons this week. Can’t imagine why….but hey we all have our crosses to bear.

However earlier this week at work there was a turn of events that when they happened I knew what would eventually come to pass the moment they started occurring. As you may be already aware from a previous blog post, Tuesday morning someone turned in a beautiful male Golden Retriever. Here’s the story.

Every morning at the shelter as you can imagine there is a certain routine that gets done day in and day out. We essentially empty the building out, (dogs into outside runs) and commence to douche out and sanitize the entire building. As you can imagine an animal shelter with upwards of 75-100 dogs at any time can get rather “hairy” in a normal day or night. We have industrial equipment and a pretty good system with any number of volunteers and the job gets done rather quickly. It is what it is. Although we start this process anywhere between 7 and 8am each day, we don’t actually open for business until about 11:30am in order to get all things needed to be done, done and ready for the general public.

I generally oversee all this morning routine and keep volunteers organized. If we’re short on help I jump in to get shit done.

Tuesday morning I’m running an automatic floor cleaning machine. iPhone/iPod earphones in ears some Johhny Cash or Jennings or Haggard blasting along. I look up and what comes running down the hall towards me? This guy.

Golden

No care in the world. Smile on his face. Not scared or stressed. Not even phased that I have what amounts to a big assed vacuum cleaner and pressure washer running making noise. Comes up to me and sits. I bend down and reach out to pet him and he lifts his paw and shakes my hand. I swear on my eyes its the truth. I pet him, he lays down, rolls onto his back and I rub his belly and if you know anything at all about dogs, then you know his rear leg is kicking like Chinese chicken.

I have adopted a Cocker Spaniel from this shelter in the past which is at home with me and I have documented here on this very blog. I love Lucas he’s my buddy and a great dog. I am, as I have also eluded to, single and live alone. So in the dog category I am content. I am not actively looking for another dog. I have had two dogs in the past and its not unknown to me or impossible to manage. So with this knowledge, you the reader should have some insight to my mindset about more dogs.

Back to the story and I am rubbing this retrievers stomach.

I am not going to lie, I laid eyes on this dog and my mind said within seconds. “I am taking this dog”.  The other side of my good sense kicked in much like the conversations between heavenly angles and satanic devils one has in their heads when weighing out rather rash decisions. It went something like this:

  • Calm down.
  • Lets find out where he came from.
  • Whats his story?
  • Why is he here?
  • Do I really need or want another dog?
  • Its a beautiful Golden Retriever!
  • He’s not too old!
  • Seems in good health some fleas and ear infection.
  • We’ll send to vet get him medicined up and cleaned up.
  • Fuck her! Fuck her brains out!  Wait! Sorry that was Animal House not me.

So I momentarily get a grip and calm down with good sense. Whew crisis averted.

Dog was found wandering around a Walmart parking lot in the area. Some guy gets a leash on him, looks for owner. No one knows who dog belongs to and no one claims him. This fella brings him to us Tuesday morning and there I was scratching his belly and shaking his paw. Eyes as big as saucers, my heart telling my mind to “shut the fuck up” and well.

In the words of Paul Harvey, “and now for the rest of the story”.

I check the dog in and get some paperwork started on him. Scan him for any microchips (none) and get him a nice clean room in the bow wow hotel. No clue what his name is. Male, good teeth, good coat, no outward anomaly. He looks to be between 5-7 years old. Probably been wandering around a while since his weight is a little low. Some fleas, some hot spots where he’s scratched himself raw because of the fleas. Has a slight ear infection in both ears, probably from mites or whatever the great outdoors has gotten in there in the last however long he’s been on his own. No big deals otherwise.

We start him on some pills for the fleas, testing him for heart worm. Next week he’ll go to vet to get his ears fixed, a rabies shot, health check out, and leave his nuts behind in exchange.

The rest of the week since this past Tuesday, I have been checking on him, walking him, taking him into the fenced yard to run around and shit in peace.

I remained calm and carried on with emotions in check. I swear, honest.

Until this afternoons walk.

I walked him and I stop to really look at him. He nudges between my legs sits down and looks out at the pound we where near and where I was looking. Yea, that was all she fucking wrote. I took him back inside to his room, took a black magic marker to his cage card, and wrote “Adopted–Brock”.

I dont know where this dog has been and it angers me why someone would abandon this guy in such a manner. Unless by some slim chance his real owners show up to claim him, I know where he’s going to be as soon as we get him healthy and fixed up.

Brock
Lucas
Traveller

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I met a gin soaked barroom queen in Memphis

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morecowbell She tried to take me upstairs for a ride.

Well HELLO 2013! I can already tell we need more cowbell around here.

Hope everyone had a nice safe Holidays and new year. Me? It was quiet calm and relaxing. Not a bad way to end the year.

So its a new year and it seems off to a nice bang in Washington. Say what you will about John Boehner but I support anyone telling Harry Reid to “Go fuck himself” outside the oval office, not once, but a loud and clear twice when Reid ask for clarification about what Boehner was talking about. Congress and Senate leadership is in a complete mess in this country at the moment. Any time we can get down to the brass tacks, and tell one of these asshole elitist political scumbags that has made a living taking from the honest and hard work of the citizens of this country, “to go fuck himself” even if it was by one of an other asshole elitist political scumbag, then I am in complete agreement. I cheer on the blunt honesty while saluting the flag and singing the national anthem. The only thing that would make me more excited about politics in this country is if Boehner cold cocked Reid’s old ass right in his suck and floored him into Obama’s office door. I’d happily donate money to  a congressional bail bond fund for assault against each other then any re-election campaign.

In fact I fully support the notion of having congress fist fight in a caged ring to pass legislation. To hell with voting!

Mrs. Feinstein wants to submit and pass a new gun bill? (I call it a gun bill because if you haven’t been paying attention to this bullshit, her bill has nothing to do with assault weapons, as its an all out attack on the 2nd Amendment to tax and then seize or “buy” back all guns period the fucking end….don’t say I didn’t warn you!) Then she gets into ring with another opposing congressional member to fist fight it out untill there is one man or woman standing. She kicks ass she gets her bill, she gets knocked out, no bill, she goes home and has to shut the heck up. I think if you want to make laws to impose on the citizens of this nation (which more times then not makes you money) then you should be willing to stand up and fight for that law with your blood sweat and tears to see it pass.

Extreme? Maybe, but I’ll ask this question in response. Why is it ok for say a young Marine or Army Ranger to go into combat willing to give his or her life for the laws of this country, and the people that make and pass the laws have nothing more to do with the idea then ride on over to capital hill in their limo’s and $1500 suites, while having other people draft the damn lawn for them, and then grandstanding about its passage? Fuck them, they have no skin in the game. Let ’em start taking an ass whipping for their pet project legislation. Then they can have a pay raise, a life long pension, and special healthcare you and I could only fantasize about.

I think thats fair. Or at the very least will cut out a whole heck of a lot of crap going on in Washington. Other then that I don’t feel too strongly on the matter. 😉

In unrelated news….

Someone dropped off a Golden Retriever and an English Bulldog at the shelter. Both males both between 5-7 years old and I’m crushing on both of them. SHIT! I am going to have a house full I know it. I’m going to be like the male equivalent of the crazy cat lady, only I’ll have a pack of damn dogs.

Lucas is already looking at me with the “look”. The don’t you bring no more dogs around here you bastard, this is my home now look.

Ugh, people suck who give up pets. Especially beautiful ones like these. These guys will get homes fast though, even if I don’t intervene in a moment of weakness. So thats some good news.

I’ll close this up for now. I’ll catch you mother scratchers towards the end of he week.

In the words of the Almighty Beastie Boys…….

HIT IT!