Monthly Archives: July 2013

The lord gaveth so the dinner club tooketh!

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Whew! Another weekend has come and gone much too fast as is the normal routine. This weekend was a rather productive one for me which always makes me happy but just adds to the speed in which the weekends intended purpose to “slow down and relax” eludes me.

As I have chronicled in this blog at numerous times, there is a group of my friends and I that get together from time to time to host a dinner club of sorts. Nothing fancy. One of us will host a dinner in rather then going out to eat. We have a bunch of decent cooks among us each with some unique flair. This weekend the dinner club had a modified meet up. I’ll explain.

Snapper Trigerfish

 

Lobster season in Florida is coming up in August. A few of my friends and I over the last couple of weekends have lets just say, been preparing by scouting out prime locations in the waters lets just say around Florida. While doing our “homework” yesterday we also did a little fishing.

Before we knew it we had a cooler full of edible fish. Mutton Snapper, YellowTail Snapper, Triggerfish, and there may or may not have been some other fish which I can not recall the exact name but I think it rhymed with stupor or hooper or looper.  Whats the difference? It’s not important. It swam in the ocean. God put the animals on the earth for you and me to eat. Like good stewards of the planet, we only took what we could eat. Never wasteful and always respectful. Leave the place better then what you found it in for the next person to enjoy. Yea thats the ticket.

There is something extra satisfying when you go out and hunt for your meal. It also doesn’t get much better as far as eating or fresh and healthy. It’s one thing when friends get together, cook and share a meal. Its just another added bonus when those same friends can, do and enjoy going out on gods earth, stalking, hunting, and harvesting those animals to cook. So yesterday the lord gaveth, and the dinner club tooketh. We tooketh like a mofo with smiles and happy stomaches.

Dinner Club1

In the coming weeks I suspect there will be more updates to the modified dinner club meeting up and sharing a meal primarily made up with fresh examples of the earths bounty.

We’re a rather dynamic group of people which makes these times special. Conversations around the table range from beautiful eye colors we have been blessed with, to someones malfunctioning tonsils and her daily routine in its rather unsettling maintenance. In the end its laughs and the good life.

Edit: Names, faces, places, events, have been changed and have no relationship to any living person, place or thing and any similarities to real or actual people or events are purely coincidental. At no time were protected animals harmed and all state, federal and international laws observed.

Oh look a pirate just flew out of my ass.

Let ‘er rip tater chips.

Nobody, and I mean NOBODY makes Sheriff Buford T. Justice look like a possum’s pecker.

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BufordTJusticeBy now we all know George Zimmerman has been declared innocent and once again a free man. Personally I am not shocked after hearing most of the facts. You know the actual case facts that were not manipulated by NBC news or purposely withheld by the states attorney’s office where they had to fire the IT director for blowing the whistle on the withheld photos and texts from Trayvon’s cell phone? Yea those facts. Well when I listened to those parts of the case, I can see why charges were not brought up against Zimmerman initially.

The DOJ spent our tax dollars getting emotional ignorant people motivated in marches and civil unrest. Our own government bullshitted people into believing this case was something it was not.

In the end I am glad political grandstanding and agenda can still not withstand a legal system so full of bullshit regulations and rules of evidence that something so simple as defending your life cant be stripped away no matter how half assed and a cockamamie reason you think you were defending it to start with.

Heres the bottom line and you can bitch and complain until you pass out things wont change.

Zimmerman had a right to watch and follow after Martin. The 911 operator was a nobody and had no legal authority to order Zimmerman to not pick his nose much less not follow or pursue Martin.

Martin had a right to tell Zimmerman to go fuck himself and continue walking home, into his house without fear of Zimmerman touching him or ordering him to do anything short of telling him to have a nice night.

Martin didn’t have a right to place hands on Zimmerman any more then Zimmerman had a right to touch or detain Martin.

Did an asshole guy watch and follow a punk kid? Yep. And its not against the law.

That is until the punk kid chose to beat a creepy crackers ass. Then all bets are off. Law provides for that protection and Zimmerman exercised it. Mostly though a jury has now recognized that Zimmerman’s actions were appropriate and legal. No matter the circumstances to how the two got to the final act of Zimmerman killing Martin.

Bottom line? No matter the reason or circumstances that get you to the point of choosing to beat another persons ass, you better make sure the fight you chose is a fight you can win.

Any racial issue or undertone to this entire saga was simply a manipulation by the mainstream media.

“A seemingly white guy kills a black unarmed kid.”

The blacks don’t give two shits about black kids getting killed. Look at Chicago on any given weekend. How many blacks have killed white people in the time this Zimmerman / Martin trial has been going on? Wheres the outrage? Wheres the NAACP? Wheres the DOJ Eric Holder and that idiot Obama? Where are the whites marching in the streets with DOJ tax dollars screaming about mercilessly being killed by blacks?

But you get the scumbags at NBC to manipulate a 911 recording making it sound as if Zimmerman is targeting blacks, throw in a little Al Sharpton and Rainbow Push, with $20,000 of tax dollars getting thrown in the streets around Sanford, Florida by the DOJ to march in protest and race relations takes a five year step back because some section of the population sees a nice fucking payday. It doesn’t get any simpler then that.

Justice for Trayvon? Are you goddamn kidding me? How about justice for all of us from a corrupt national media system? How about justice for all of us from a corrupt Department of Justice and Federal Government?

Let ‘er rip, tater chips.

Feeling better when I am feeling no pain.

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sprainedassSorry for the delay since my last update. Between the long holiday weekend, work, pinching a nerve in my butt crack and my calf muscle getting strained because of the whole “butt crack fiasco of 2013” things have been slipping around here.

So now that the pink elephant in the room about my butt crack pinched nerve has been established I’ll get that part out of the way first before I start getting calls/texts/emails by all you poop heads that this is some coming out of the closet post.  ITS NOT. Jerks.

Saturday I was invited by some close friends to go with them on their boat for a ride down the inter-coastal waterway for lunch and whatnot at a couple restaurants with boat access. “Sure” I said. “Sounds like fun” I said.

So we meet up 9-10 in the morning-ish. Where we started and where we were going is only about thirty miles as the crow flies probably less. However since we’re governed by law to not make any reasonable time with appropriate speed that somehow saves and protects fucking manatees the ride takes about an hour and a half almost two hours each way. Little side note. Manatee is an old indian word loosely translated to fat ass cow of the sea who knows not to stay out of shipping channels where boats go fast.

We get to this riverside seafood place called something like Guys Bananas or some such crap. Tiki huts, eighteen year old waitresses and hosts with ass and tits that should be criminal and makes me think back to my younger days and statutory rape laws with age of consent issues and none of the math works out in my head, but I digress.

We take a hightop table, order drinks and a bunch of appetizers to pass around and catch up.

I sit down in this pseudo wicker barstool thing. Whatever no problem. An hour goes by. Voice in my head, “this barstool is killing my ass,” I shift around get blood flowing again to where it needs to go. Another hour passes and voice in my head speaks up again, “ok you bastard I warned you an hour ago, now I’ll shut off the right leg.” So my right leg goes to sleep. I shift around try to get some circulation. I am not smart enough to bitch or stand up. In fact I wouldnt say “shit” if I had a mouthful. Its just not my nature to complain and the conversation was flowing and a nice time was being had. I’ll live and I simply ignore the voice in my head warning me something was not right with my bony no ass having self sitting on some shit barstool. I was engaged in conversation with my friends and periodically leering at way too young waitress girls with tits and much more healthier asses then this broken down old man currently has who was in an epic battle with it on some shitty barstool.

Then my friend Amy sitting across from me just stands up. “This chair sucks”. She is such a damn showoff sometimes.

We finish up, decide to check out another stop further down the river and settle the tab. I get up and of course since my right leg is asleep and numb, I do that whole slow hobble, slap your leg to get feeling back and pray I don’t fall on my face walking back to the boat. I  make it back to the boat get on board without incident or embarrassment and we sail on for our next destination. Rest of day leg is half asleep but things seem to be ok.

This was Saturday by the way.

Sunday, I can barely walk. My calf in my leg is essentially useless. Like a sprain or the worst charlie horse.

Monday same. What the hell is going on?

Tuesday same. Ok shit whats going on here. Logic tells me I probably just pinched a nerve in my ass or thigh and my calf is strained. Thats common sense logic. The pessimistic voice in my head that was warning me Saturday was now telling me shit like, “what if you didnt pinch a nerve and you have some kind of weirdo blood clot that you got from sitting on the shitty barstool Saturday and since you ignored it now its going to break free and kill you in your sleep?” Nah cant be. Right? Of course not. My luck would be what happened Saturday with the shitty barstool is merely coincidental and I just have some kind of cancer or disease in my leg and will need to get it cut off. Thats more my luck.

Tuesday while hobbling around work, making my plans to spend the next eighteen months of my life getting pieces and parts of my body chopped off to this mystery disease originating in my calf I am comforted only by the notion, that soon I will be losing a great deal of weight without the least bit of exercise or diet intervention. Might as well look at the bright side. Right?

This morning:
Mom: Maybe you should go see a doctor.
Me: Maybe you should kiss my ass. Think I want to know the truth?

My thoughts and standard beliefs are theres plenty of time to go to doctors and hospitals when I am unconscious or more then halfway dead.

Didn’t I just post in this very blog not to ignore your health? Kids do as I say, not as I do.

So here we are Wednesday night. Guess what? Just a strain or something. Its not really hurting anymore and I can almost take a full stride. SEE I told you it was just a little fluke. Probably pinched a nerve in my ass or thigh and whatever my calf muscle took a vacation for a few days.

Yeah this has been the last few days. Now you’ll have to excuse me while I go pound some aspirin, to thin out my blood and prevent any clot that may be traveling to my heart or head waiting to kill me. I still am not going to a doctor though.

Love you all….. just in case.

Let ‘er rip tater chips.

A small update, some observations, an anniversary and other tidbits.

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newdayAs you may all know by now from a previous post about my cousins battle with cancer, its with a heavy heart I have to report that Jess lost her long and arduous battle this past Friday.

I have been thinking about her and her story for a few days now. I was debating how to frame and relate such a story of courage and grace. The hardest part for me is the simplest. Its so cliche to say, “so and so unfortunately lost their battle with cancer.” Its a normal statement. Factually its a true statement. As many of you know me, I tend to shy away from the cliche and normal. To say my cousin lost her battle with cancer is as far as I am concerned a load of BS. Jess won her battle. I’ll tell you why.

For over seven years, from the time she was diagnosed this girl had a smile and such a positive attitude in her treatment to try and keep this disease at bay. Never a complaint. Never a bad word. Numerous surgeries, radiation, chemo treatments. After each surgery or round of treatment, this girl went back to work. Sick, feeling like crap, tired, she held her head up high, smiled and moved forward. She enjoyed life to the fullest and when faced with setbacks in her treatment, it was always a “Whats next? We move forward with positive attitude.”

I can’t tell you the amount of strength, dignity, grace and positive attitude this young lady displayed throughout this whole rotten situation.

Obviously and as most people will agree when you have a family member go through something like this you tend to think about your own mortality. You wonder what you would do. How you would react. I did. If I am honest with myself and you the reader, theres a chance I’d try and do the right thing by being positive and setting an example in my head-on treatment and fight against this insidious disease. Then theres the very possible reality that after reaching a certain point, I’d simply throw in the towel, take out every line of credit I could get my hands on, and call it a party of the century with my closest friends. Booze, hookers, drugs, bank robbery, and dynamiting the IRS. I mean really whats to lose at that point?  Ok, I wouldn’t hurt innocent people, but you get the picture.

Thats me, and how I would have handled things. My cousin Jess is a much bigger and better person that I’ll ever be. She proved and showed the rest of us, that even when we’re saddled with insurmountable odds and a losing proposition you can still live with great happiness, and dignity no matter what the obvious outcome. That is a lesson I’ll forever take with me.

Did the cancer finally get my cousin Jess? Technically, yes, but Jessica did NOT lose the battle. No way. She won. She won in such outstanding fashion that her lessons and memory will live forever with those that met and knew her. I’ll call that winning every single day.

Moving along….

This blog in its current incarnation is officially one year old. I think technically the anniversary occurred last month but as you see it now its one year old. Its about where I expected it to be and for that I am pleasantly surprised. I have been mulling some small changes and updates with layout and graphics to keep things fresh. Fundamentally things will continue as they are and we’ll see where the next year takes us. I have some ideas and experiments swirling around in my head so stay tuned.

July already. Complete years and weekends go by so fast. Yet one single Monday at work can take the life right out of us five times over. Further proof life just isn’t fair sometimes. I don’t care though. July 31st I am going to see Black Sabbath and that doesn’t suck.

Let ‘er rip tater chips.