Monthly Archives: February 2013

Here Comes the Sequestration

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beatles Here comes the Sequestration,
here comes the Sequestration,
And I say it’s all right

Little darling, it’s been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here

Get ready its coming and frankly I am all for it. Let the cuts begin and pieces fall where they may. If the current administration refuses to make any sort of a budget and live by it then guess what? Obama knew sequestration was coming and did squat about it. Blame the republicans and blame the democrats if it makes you feel better. The real failure is lack of leadership that starts and ends in the white house. End of discussion.

Remember my screaming goats? Yep, viral. Viral in the best way. Take a look see.

Taylor take it the goat way too.

Goat pisses on dead crackheads grave in epic form.

Goat doesn’t spare the musical abortion of Bieber either.

Thats about it kids. Enjoy your hump day and remember the dude and the goat abides, man!

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Cops. Come and try to snatch my crops!

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EVTime Who you tryin’ to get crazy with ese? Don’t you know I’m loco?

Well it looks like Mr. Peabody has turned the way-back machine dials to 1993 this morning.

War was over
I was home from the Marines
Pearl Jam gave us Vs
Nirvana gave us In Utero and then suicide the following April
Cypress Hill broke us off some with Black Sunday

I catch myself in conversation and sometimes others catch me when referring to someone as old being like forty-five or fifty years of age. Then I, or someone else will go, “Old? Um, you realize we’re forty-something?” Opps! Then I immediately revise my statements to “Oh I mean old like really old, not our kind of old” in a pitiful attempt to not be old myself. Only walking away thinking to myself “Jesus, they’re right I am getting old too…..SHIT.”

Getting old isn’t so bad. Its just a number. You’re only as old as you feel you are. (insert any number of failing to make oneself feel better cliche type sayings here) I feel good. My health is good. My mind is good yeah well my mind is still there.

However sometimes I sit and think to myself. Is this where I am supposed to be? Was this all part of the plans I envisioned for myself? The only problem is, I can’t say with certainty what “the plan” really was for me. You have all the normal life’s goals of course. Do good, be happy, make money, support yourself, but past all that what was “my” plan?

I am at the old or young age of forty-two still unsure what my plan for life really is. Can I invent something that will save the world, or destroy it? Sure I could, but what is it? Can I paint or create the next artistic master piece? Sure I could, but what is it? Can I inspire millions of people, or just one person? Sure I could, but who?

There are so many variables that plot out and or influence either directly or indirectly in our lives to figure out ones place in the world. What do you believe in? What do you have faith in? Do you chase the plan down, does it come to you like a vision while scratching your ass in line at the grocery store? Do you just carry on believing it will find you? I have no clue. I guess I am still in the camp of not knowing what I want to be when I grow up. I am still waiting to see.

I am waiting to see. I have my eyes open. That wasn’t always the case though and at times I still need to remind myself to slow down and look around. Society pushes us in directions which we mistakenly think is normal and “the way we should go”. I used to believe and subscribe to this idea. Go to school, get a job, make lots of money, get married, have lots of kids, go in debt, curse the kids, curse the wife, lose the job, die. I used to believe all this too. Now, not so much. I watched my peers, family, friends do these things and I even did some of these things.

No, now I plot and follow a much simpler course. Do good, be happy, be me and wait and see. Oh, and of course second guess myself at every turn on this wait and see path wondering what it is I am supposed to see. If there is one thing worse then living by simple and sound advice its hoping the shit was right and it all works out. I am ready, willing and able for life, and I know theres more for me, but what? I am in no rush honestly although my age tells a voice in my head “well what the fuck lets get this thing on”.

In the end I cant complain. I am already rich and I am happy. I’m rich simply based on the friends and family I have and the work I do. I am happy with me. I got here honestly and while the road here took many turns, hills and valleys in the end I know I wound up here on my own and with clarity. I know I missed some opportunities on this path, and at times regretted them, but I know now, what I thought I wanted or needed really wasn’t for me. My eyes were closed in those times. Now my eyes are open and I wait and see.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Chili

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ChiliA small cold front came through Florida Saturday night and Sunday. When I say cold I mean a teeth chattering 50-ish degrees. 😉 Yes I know, I can hear all my north and midwestern friends and readers collectively tell me to get F’ed.

Anyway when its cold, there is nothing better then a nice warm bowl of chili. I am not talking that canned shit, or some ground meat with taco seasoning. I am also not talking about anything with beans. I am talking about authentic Texas chili from scratch. Its easier then you think to make and I promise you that once you make it like this you wont want it any other way. Well you might but in your mind you’ll be all like, what the hell is wrong with me, I just should have made it like Brock did.

Chili_meatSome Texans and in fact some sanctioned Chili cooking competitions allow for ground meat. If you like ground meat in your chili go for it. However to me and I am betting you will agree when you try, chili with small chunks of meat his much better. When I make chili I just buy a two to two and a half pound chuck roast and cut the meat up into small cubes.

Authentic Texas style chili is easy to make and really only requires a handful of ingredients. If you want to add beans to your chili, you can, if you feel you must. Authentic Texas style chili however rarely has any beans. Onion, meat, tomatoes is really all you need in as far as the ingredients to make good chili. Of course there is the spices but I am going to show you have to handle that since its easy enough.

Now lets talk spices. Its easy enough to buy Chili powder in the store and if you want to, go for it. Its not a problem. However, I make my own and if you have a blender, food processor, a spice grinder or even and old school mortar and pestle then I would try to make your own chili powder. Its easy to do and tastes 100X’s better then store bought.

Here’s how:

In your supermarket on the ethnic food isle or section look for the dried whole chili peppers. Down here its by the Goya Spanish/Latin canned stuff. Usually there are plastic bags of dried Chipotle, Serrano or Banana Peppers. Grab one of each. Heat your oven to 300 degrees and spread all the peppers out on a baking sheet and toast the peppers in the oven for 15-25 minutes. They will toast up and get a little smokey. Check often, you’ll smell them get toasty. Take them out then let cool to room temp. They will be really dry and brittle.

When they are room temp, grind them all up into a powder. You can use a blender, spice grinder, food processor or a mortar and pestle. In the end you wind up with about a half a cup of homemade chili powder. Put in an air tight container and it will last in fridge forever. Make chili, BBQ sauce, BBQ rub whatever. Try it though. Its easy and beats the tits off regular old store bought chili powder.

The chili and spices are added to the chili in two separate times or as the chili competition people refer to as “Dumps”. You “dump” in half the spices in the beginning of the cook and then “dump” in the other half of the spices at the end of the cook.

This chili is rather thin while cooking. Its almost more soup life then chili like. Don’t be alarmed. The last half hour the chili is cooked with the lid off the pot and the chili will thicken. If its still too loose, you can thicken it up with a tablespoon of cornstarch and cup of water mixed and and added into the chili. But you probably wont need to thicken it when its done cooking.

You can top the chili with damn near anything you like when you are ready to eat. These days instead of making corn bread, I just buy a bag of plain old Frito Corn chips and throw a handful on top with some grated Cheddar Cheese.

Chili_Bowl

Chili_top

Chili
 
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A little cold outside, then its chili time.
Author:
Recipe type: Entree
Cuisine: American
Serves: 6-8
Ingredients
  • 2½ pound Chuck Roast, cut into 1 inch cubes
  • 2 Tablespoons of Bacon Grease
  • I medium Yellow Onion chopped
  • 2 Teaspoons Beef Base
  • 12 ounce can Whole Tomatoes
  • 7 ounce can Chipotle Peppers in Adobo Sauce
  • 2 Cups of Water
  • 2 Cups of Chicken Stock
  • 4 Tablespoons of Chili Powder
  • 1 Tablespoon of Onion Powder
  • 1 Tablespoon of Garlic Powder
  • 1 Tablespoon of ground Cumin
Instructions
  1. Heat the 1 Tablespoon of Bacon Grease in a heavy dutch oven or similar pot on the stove over medium high heat
  2. Brown cubed Chuck Roast in batches until no longer pink. Set aside.
  3. Heat remaining Tablespoon of bacon grease in pot and add chopped Onion until translucent.
  4. Add browned cubed Chuck Roast back to pot with Chopped Onion
  5. Add 2 Teaspoons of Beef Base
  6. Add 12 Ounce can Whole Tomatoes
  7. Add 7 Ounce can Chipotle Peppers in Adobo Sauce
  8. Add 2 Cups of Water
  9. Add 2 Cups of Chicken Stock
  10. Stir and bring to an easy boil
  11. FIRST DUMP
  12. Add 2 Tablespoons of Chili Powder
  13. Add ½ Tablespoon Onion Powder
  14. Add ½ Tablespoon of Garlic Powder
  15. Add ½ Tablespoon of Ground Cumin
  16. Reduce heat to simmer, cover pot and cook about 2½ hours over medium low heat
  17. SECOND DUMP
  18. Add 2 Tablespoons of Chili Powder
  19. Add ½ Tablespoon Onion Powder
  20. Add ½ Tablespoon of Garlic Powder
  21. Add ½ Tablespoon of Ground Cumin
  22. Increase heat to medium and simmer last half hour uncovered to thicken.
  23. Serve with grated Cheddar Cheese and Fritos Corn Chips

 

 

 

 

Look mommy, there’s an airplane up in the sky

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Did you see the frightened ones meteor
Did you hear the falling bombs
Did you ever wonder
Why we had to run for shelter

Well if you’re Russian that wasn’t any airplane. Just a meteor nothing to see here. Move along. TGIF!

But WAIT! There is more!

What if the meteor that slammed into Russia yesterday is not just a meteor? What if its merely a piece of “meteor shrapnel” from the bigger piece of asteroid that is supposed to pass by the earth at the closest distance since the dinosaurs were wiped out in the last planet wide armageddon? You guys know about the asteroid right?

Clicky Clicky Asteroid Clicky Clicky

What if the the world governments are all lying to us about the asteroid and its really going to strike the earth rather then passing by at 17,000 miles to preserve the peace? If NASA knew we were all going to die in nuclear winter because an asteroid the size of olympic sized swimming pool would hit the earth would they tell us? Whats the point? Do we spend the last days in holy terror knowing all life was going to cease to exist in a week, or just keep quiet and let us live out the last few days in unknowing bliss? Wake up Saturday morning and “BLINK” were all gone in a few seconds.

I don’t know man. I watched Armageddon! Where is Bruce Willis? Where is fucking ROCKHOUND man? We’ve got no supercharged space shuttles! Aerosmith didn’t even write us a damn soundtrack for this shit. I am not ready to go!

Grab yo shit. Grab yo kids. Head for the hills and your bunkers. I think were all going to die. I aint got time for this!

On the other hand. I’ve lived a good and interesting life so far and have no regrets. Well I do have some regrets but I swear I did the best I could with what I had at the time, so pretty much screw it lets get this over with I say. I am ready.

Who am I kidding? God, Karma, (insert your higher power here) wouldn’t wipe out the earths population in the middle of tax season. Destiny and chance couldn’t be in our favor that much. Yea we’ll live on now, I am sure of it.

False Alarm. Sorry folks. Move along nothing to see here.

TGIF and see you next week.

Let ‘er rip tater chip!

 

Fat Tuesday and the Pope has left the building.

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Fat TuesdayHappy Fat Tuesday. Flash your boobs and get some beads, give up sweets for Lent and say goodbye to the Pope.

In an unexpected move although not unprecedented the Pope turned in his resignation papers and his pension payment options to Jesus yesterday. When you’re the Pope thats the next in command right? Jesus? I mean when you’re the Pope who do you tell you’re quitting and hauling ass? Not some clerk down in the Vatican personnel office right?

Yes, yesterday the Pope got up, scratched his ass and said, “You know what? Fuck this. I am out.”

You’re the Pope for goodness sake. You don’t just up and quit. Strength? What kind of strength does a Pope need? You have choir  boys, Cardinals, Bishops, and a couple billion other church members jerking you off all day. You get up say your omnis dominus and you go down and watch the nuns play volley ball all day. How hard can it be?

What are you going to do? The church will find some other old crusty Cardinal to take his place. Some old idiot denouncing safe and accepted birth control and that somehow Jesus/God would rather man and woman screw each other and pass along Aids wiping out the human race then use a simple condom. Bingo, Gambling and drinking is ok though some come on down to Family Church night!

It’s Fat Tuesday today. Most of us are working, but try and enjoy your day. Eat good food, have a drink be merry. Wednesday is Lent. Give something up for 40 days. Candy, sweets, cursing, gambling, jerking off three times a day, giving the girl the old Dutch Rudder. Yea right. What kind of life would that be? Ok ok I suppose I can cut back on cursing. Wait……..you hear that? It was like the cries of a million people on the planet of Aldaran being extinguished by the rays from the Death Star. Somewhere in the force, Obi Wan just shit his pants. No cursing for forty days? Even the Pope had his limits!

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Alive in the Superunknown

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If this doesn’t make you free Friday
It doesn’t mean you’re tied
If this doesn’t take you down
It doesn’t mean you’re high
If this doesn’t make you smile
You don’t have to cry
If this isn’t making sense
It doesn’t make it lies

Another TGIF, and here’s to hoping its a quick and easy day for all of us.

As I sit here writing this quick post, drinking my coffee, the news is on in the background about some pissed off cop out in California who’s cheese has slipped off his cracker and killing fellow cops. Seems this guy thinks he was unfairly treated and then terminated by the police department where he used to work. After a rather lengthy and rambling manifesto, killing three officers, he’s now on the run with the entire law enforcement community looking for him.

Other then feeling bad about innocent people having to needlessly die, the only thing I can think about in all of this is the following:

Excuse me brother, what we call drugs at the 74th Street Baptist Church we call the sin of sin sins.

Well round here, between Normandie and Western, we call this here a little twenty twen twen

Ok all joking aside. I hope the authorities catch the guy before he kills someone else. However there is a part of me that wants the guy to succeed and go on killing cops at will. The make-believe not in the real world part of my silly fantasies part of me of course. Why? Easy. In a sick twisted way this Chris Dorner guy is the underdog fighting “The Man” whom he has perceived has done him wrong. Remember I only think this in my wildest, deepest make-believe fantasies, I dont condone killing cops or anyone else for no good reason, although Mr. Dorner seems to think he has good reason, clearly he’s not well.

In a weird way, I think if you’re going to go bat shit crazy and create havoc in the world then go for it but clearly and carefully choose the target of your wrath and stay committed to your cause. In this case Dorner has a beef with the police/cops and he has chosen to target those people so far and only those people.

In a way, I think if everyone who went on crazy killing sprees did this, it would better illustrate their points and secondly it keeps those they target and go after more responsible and accountable.

Let me explain further. Everyone hates the IRS. Some hate the IRS so much they get to a point, and pick up a gun or knife and go killing innocent non-IRS people. All this does is confirm you lost your damn mind and killed innocent people. You are on the news five minutes, caught, on court tv, thrown in prison for life or executed and then forgotten forever. You’re not even a footnote in history.

Now if every IRS hating person who chose to go crazy, only went after IRS people in their murderous rampage, then what happens? People start to think, “Why the hell are all these IRS people getting killed by these crazy people?” People start looking into the IRS and the IRS starts looking at itself trying to figure how or what they are doing wrong that people are targeting them. Things at the IRS change. See how that works? See how that works in my own admittedly twisted logic?

In my overly simplified example above you can replace IRS for, Abortion Doctors, Child molesters, Congress, Senators, Walmart anything under the sun really. If you’re going to go crazy and kill people, dont kill innocent people who in no way are connected to your rage. Kill the people or members of the organization that wronged you.

Oh and leave a rambling manifesto too. Those really help to squash any media bias and ratings mongering speculation. You kill twenty catholic priests, and in the end flash your gun at the police so they have to shoot you, the news reports, “obviously this individual was a deranged person who held no value on the lives of innocent people”. You leave a manifesto that explains for years as a small boy you were repeatedly molested as a child by a half dozen priests who never had to face any consequences and were just hidden and moved to new parishes by the Pope or Bishops, its hard to spin or deny the fact that “well the guy may have a small beef with the church.”

So what have we learned here kids? If you’re going to lose you damn mind and kill people:

  1. Figure out who you’re mad at and target those people only.
  2. Leave a long rambling missive about why you’re pissed, who you hate, and also that you love Justin Bieber and Tim Tebow.
  3. Don’t get caught, or if you do, don’t surrender. Kill yourself or point your gun/weapon at the police and let them kill you.

Or you could just not be a freaking lunatic, lose your self control and hurt/kill innocent people. Of course I wont have any fodder for my fantasy world underdog of bad taking a bite out of good, or good taking a bit out of bad depending on who’s getting the killing, but thats ok, there always my go to fall back of midget and stump porn.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Well, I’m glad that’s over.

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Max Overdrive Has the whole world gone mad? What the hell is going on out there? It’s like the earth has been caught up in a nearby passing comet’s trail and all the machines humans have gone bat-shit crazy. Only difference is there is no cool AC/DC soundtrack and Emilio Esteves isn’t a short order cook at a truck stop gas station.

Cris Kyle, Navy Seal, and the greatest sniper to come out of the Iraq/Afghanistan wars was killed this weekend by another broken veteran on a gun range in Texas. I can’t help but notice how Obama’s liberal media machine is all over anything to do with gun violence. Its a shame really the media can’t report unbiased and news worthy facts. The facts are simple. Every single day, TWENTY-TWO war veterans commit suicide. Let that sink in and read it again. I’ll help you. Every single day, TWENTY-TWO war veterans commit suicide. The same exact veterans that are getting there medical and healthcare benefits reduced more and more by the very President sitting in the oval office right now.

I wish I had spoke to someone after I got back from the first Gulf War. Instead I just kept my mouth shut, didnt talk much about what I saw, and kept on and carried on. After all hearing my father moan and groan in bed with nightmares from Vietnam as a kid was normal. As I look and think back now, aside from pissing them off with snoring, I have probably scared the shit out of every woman I have ever slept in the same bed with since 1993 with occasional nightmares and waking up in cold sweats. Sorry ladies, where ever you may be now.

Last week this wackjob (another fucked up veteran) jumps on a school bus, blasts the driver and takes a kid hostage into an underground bunker for a week. Thankfully today that all ended with the child safe and the veteran dead.

What could go so bad in your head to make one do that? I can’t say I know or understand, but I will say what some see in battle is some horrendous shit. In my case bad, but not bad in as much as my buddies getting hurt next to me. But in the subsequent Iraq and Afghanistan wars, Beirut, Vietnam, that high intensity close in combat seeing your friends get hurt/killed or injured yourself doesn’t leave your mind. It hasn’t for me and comparatively speaking what I did and saw was a cakewalk.

It’s sad, but more infuriating that mental health aid isn’t more available to veterans. When it is the stigma attached to it is like you’re some kind of pussy is a real issue. The ironic thing is and you can mark my words now, in the near future all kinds of mental health assets and federal funds are going to be made available all over this country to make sure someone who wants to buy a hand gun is suitable to own one. There will be so much bureaucratic bullshit involved with mental health and gun ownership all while the veterans who need the help will not get it and continue on in pain and hell between their ears. Only thing is they probably wont get a gun to kill themselves with, so its back to the pills. booze, highway overpasses.

The Super Bowl was weird this year. The game was great in the second half. Beyonce was good. The commercials? Eh. Was I the only one thinking in my head when they pulled out the Newtown or whatever elementary school choir and thought to myself, WTF? Is it now pretty much accepted that every single national tragedy we go through we must rally up the survivors and somehow make a spectacle of them at championship sporting events? First its Captain Sully. Now the kids who didn’t get blown away. Whats next? Little Ethan who was saved from the bunker in Alabama today, gets to wave the green flag at the Indy 500?

I watched the brand new Netflix series House of Cards this weekend. Thirteen episodes of season one. Kevin Spacey, Robin Wright. About a congressman from South Carolina. It was the best thing I have watched since Sopranos, Mad Men, Sons of Anarchy, and Walking Dead. Do yourself a favor sign up for Netflix for thirty days free and watch this series. If you like politics, you will love this series. Its brand new, on Netflix only and its absolutely awesome. There is a second season coming out with another thirteen episodes probably towards the end of the year. I can not wait. David Fincher produces and directs some episodes. Its well done. Two thumbs up, five stars, highly recommend. Here is the best part. Netflix put out all the episodes of the entire season at one time. I binged the entire season Friday night and Saturday morning.

I’ll close this for now and hope that all the crazy in the world calms down a little.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!