Monthly Archives: November 2012

Thoughts Arrive Like Butterflies

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We have survived another week. Lets get the almost TGIF out of the way.

As I find myself in the rush to the Christmas holidays, I debated whether or not to even call it “Christmas” here on the blog. While I don’t intentionally want to alienate those non-Christians that may from time to time read my blog, I thought better to remain true to myself and call it what I have called it all my life. Not that I would go out of my way to insult someone else’s belief, but I don’t need to hide mine or otherwise feel ashamed by it in the name of protecting someone else’s sensibilities over a simple name of a holiday. You can call it the Holiday season, Kwanza, Hanukkah, Ramadan, or Ooogilly Googilly Goat Fuck Day for all I care. Most people that know me, know I don’t play the politically correct game, but thats not to say I don’t or wont respect others beliefs. Just here, you’re in my fucking house, and in this house, its called fucking Christmas. You fucking get all that?

The lights are going up in the neighborhood on a few houses. I know my brother has put up some lights on his house too, but I haven’t been over to see them. Single and living alone, I don’t really get too hung up on putting up a tree or decorating the house for Christmas. I am beginning to rethink those choices as I get older and softer. Don’t get me wrong, I am not running out for a tree and strapping on heels and an apron to start decorating the house to show tunes. I may however install a seasonal wreath on the front door, or maybe hang some Mistletoe in the house somewhere rather then off my belt and hit the local juke joint. A poinsettia maybe but I think they are poisonous to dogs, so the hell with that.

I sometimes miss all the family Christmas traditions or creating new ones each year. Not enough to go out and hook up with the first broad that will say yes, mind you, but sometimes not doing anything for the holidays around the house, while convenient and zero hassle, I have noticed places a rather numb feeling on me during this time of year. I think I’ll change this thinking a bit, and try and get my hum bug ass into the season a little more. What’s the worst that can happen? Well I could climb an observation tower with high powered rifles and bring Christmas cheer to all kinds of people while etching my name in the history books, but really, that not in keeping with the reason for the season, is it?

This year, I’ll do a little something around here for Christmas. Exactly what that may be, I have no clue yet, but its still not officially December yet. I am still shitting turkey and cranberry sauce. I am not late and I am not stressing.

Christmas is such a stressful time for folks and I honestly don’t know why. It’s the end of the year, things are winding down. We’re supposed to be hanging with family, chilling out, maybe taking some time off work for the holidays. I see so many people running around worried about buying this or that. Getting ready to go here or there. Worrying about the most insane things and for what? What is the end game in all this? So that your kids can run out the door and brag to their friends about a new video game or pair of shoes?

Bullshit!

This is probably a prime example of why I’m single and childless, I don’t know, but I don’t play those games. Exchange some gifts, you betcha. Give your kids the things you never had. Absolutely. Surprise them with something they never would have thought of getting, hell yea. I am however against any such present or gifts that have no intrinsic value other then, his/her friend got one of these or those and going into serious debt for the gifts that will more then likely be lost or broken in the next day, week, month, year. We wonder why the stores all go crazy for Christmas shit in October? Look I am not some shining example of the true Christmas spirit or Mother Teresa sanctity of giving, but at least I try and remember the reason for giving. To that end, its the reason why I only give kids wooden spoons, hammers and nails for Christmas. The true building blocks of life I say. Socks, ties, shoes, hell no! Here kid with this hammer and nails a maybe a saw, you go outside and build your life. The world is your oyster!

Give a kid a fish, and he can put it in the trunk of only one middle school teacher’s car over the summer. You teach a kid to fish with dynamite and a gill net, and that kid can fill the whole goddamn school gymnasium with dead mullet. Jesus teaches us that. Serious. Its like in Thessalonians. Second chapter I believe. Check it yourself.

In any event, this year I propose to get into the season a little here at the homestead. I also implore you to not stress over the Christmas holidays and enjoy and love your family for better or worse. This is the time of year to love your neighbor, peace on earth, and say a great big fuck you to Walmart and give your kids the life long gifts of building supplies and cooking tools. They will thank you in later years. I promise.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

For my friend Talisa. Not ashamed of loving her God, or the fact that her friend yours truly is trying to get her to take him to her church to find out about the freaky love offerings because I hear that some hot chicks go to these things.

Roasted Chicken Tomato Basil and Mozzarella Panini

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Panini is the plural form of the Italian world panino meaning small bread roll. In America we have adopted Panini to symbolize toasted and pressed warm sandwiches.

Well I made one tonight and it was fantabulous which is Brock speak for “goddamn thats a good sandwich.

Fist I made a loaf of bread. You don’t have to make your own bread, but I did. Its too damn easy if you have a bread machine. Fresh homemade bread makes the house smell nice, and I was a little gassy today.

Then I made some tomato sauce. You don’t have to make your own tomato sauce, but I did. Its super easy. Just sauté an onion some bell pepper a little garlic. Then add a few good tablespoons of tomato paste, some chicken stock and simmer. Salt and pepper to taste, and boom you have a basic tomato sauce.

I brined and roasted a chicken the other night and had some leftover breast meat. You don’t have to brine and roast your own chicken but I did.

I also grew some fresh basil. You don’t have to grown your very own basil but I did. Herbs are easy to grow.

I did not make my own mozzarella cheese because I have not ordered any rennet tablets yet, but soon I’ll make my own cheese too. So do Like I did and go to the store and buy some mozzarella cheese. I pretty much have some on hand at all times. If cheese was like a person, I’d think of mozzarella as fresh little brand new babies or brand new puppies. Clean, mild, and milky.

If you have a panini maker you’re pretty much all set. Just assemble the sandwich with the listed ingredients and place in a heated panini maker. A few minutes later you’re all done. Slice and eat.


Roasted Chicken Tomato Basil and Mozzarella Panini
 
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Quick and easy roasted chicken, tomato, basil, and mozzarella panini
Author:
Recipe type: Sandwich
Cuisine: Italian
Serves: 1
Ingredients
  • Crusty White Bread
  • Tomato Sauce (fresh or from a jar)
  • Roasted Chicken
  • Fresh Basil
  • Mozzarella cheese grated
Instructions
  1. Heat Panini press to medium high heat
  2. Place slice of bread on Panini grill
  3. Place Chicken on bread slice
  4. Spoon tomato sauce on top of Chicken
  5. Place a few fresh Basil leaves over Tomato sauce
  6. Mound about ¼ cup of grated Mozzarella cheese over Basil and Tomato sauce
  7. Place second slice of bread on top of Mozzarella
  8. Close Panini grill and bake for about 5-7 minutes
Notes
A Panini press or a regular grill pan will work to make Panini sandwiches

 

Back in Black Friday

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I keep lookin’ at the sky
’cause its getting me high 

By now we should have made it through another Thanksgiving meal and for those that chose to attempt it, the day after shopping on this Black Friday.

In the end I made up some sides and brought them to my folks to eat this year. Yeast rolls as you can see was one of the few things I made. They came out pretty good and I was surprised how easy they are to make. I also made some cranberry sauce and cornbread dressing. Between this and what my folks made we ate pretty damn good and gluttonous yesterday. I’ll put them all in the recipe section later. I am in the process of reformatting all the recipes into a standardized format thats easily printable so you guys can take them with you.

I didn’t bother with shopping today. Not that I ever would. Saw a few reports on TV of the idiots around the country looking for a deal. The mad rush and push to get a cheap flat panel tv or a video game in this country is beyond sad. I am all for getting a deal and times are tough on people, but its stupid to think the only time you can score these deals is the day after or more accurately this year, at nine pm on Thanksgiving night. Much like our national elections in this country, people are stupid.

Really? Over a phone, Xbox, waffle iron? Look closely at this video. These imbeciles VOTE, and make more imbeciles.

Folks, understand this right here right now. Mankind is officially on the downward leg, rapidly picking up speed to extinction. Do not fool yourselves for a second that it is not happening.

Other then that I don’t feel too strongly about the whole matter.

I hope that all the rest of you had a good time with your families and had the chance to sit down and relax with loved ones. Its got to be a little more important and gratifying then standing in some line at the crack ass of dawn and putting up with this nonsense. As a small child I loved Santa Clause and getting gifts at Christmas as much as the next kid, but with all honesty from those moments to this very one, none of that shit mattered more then being with family.

Let ‘er rip tater chip!

Turkey Turkey Gobble Gobble

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It’s that all important day again. What day is that Brock? The day when we’re all thankful for everyone, everything and profess our love for all things peace and beautiful? No not that day. I am talking about the day we sit around all day eating food that some key members of family stood around cooking all day, swearing about how an ungrateful bunch of bastards the rest of the world may be. The day before everyone goes out like a bunch of goddamned maniacs to stand in store lines at ungodly hours in the morning in hopes that you will get a coupon to a free box of tampons or a playstation at a blistering $5 off the retail price.

Oh that day. Yea, buts its so much better and easier to post status updates on Facebook about how you’re grateful for that one time you got a flat tire and the strange man helped change the tire and didn’t kidnap you in the back of his van. That day you didn’t wind up in his basement well, being lowered a basket of lotion and being told. “Its puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again.”

Oh you forgot to be thankful for that one huh?

As every other year, I too have thought about how thankful I am for the people and things in my life. Its the same each year. This year however I have committed to do a little more then tell people I am thankful. This year I will make at least a 10% increase in showing people or things how grateful I am. Anyone can proclaim how thankful they may be, but that crap is forgotten Friday morning while rushing through stores with a Starbucks latte in hand. Go show that person or thing how thankful you may be. It gets a little harder and a little more involved then a status update on Facebook.

I have been blessed with a damn good family and collection of friends. I got a lot of damn thankful to start showing. I’ve never said it enough and I know I have never shown it enough. Reasons and excuses are many just like good intention paves the way to hell. I know my limits which is why I only bid to change my ways and show thanks and gratefulness by a net increase of 10%. May sound small but the way I look at it, 10% of a metric shit ton of thankful and gratefulness to be shown should keep me busy for most of the next year. I’ll report back in November 2013 and tell you how I did. Save the date and all that.

I started my Thanksgiving cooking. Sort of. My southern roots dictate I bust out a cornbread stuffing/dressing to bring to the folks. We’ll see how that turns out. I’m also making some no-knead Parker House type yeast rolls, cranberry sauce, and possibly another coconut lemon cake. I’ll have to knock a fresh coconut out of the tree tomorrow morning however. I’ll document all these side dishes and desserts as much as I can to include in the recipe section.

Thats where I am right now. Thankful for a lot of things sure, but I rather commit to showing it cause in the past I fail at that more times then not.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

 

Militant

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I have only one thing to say about this.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Pop rock male artist of the year? Seriously? I know the AMA’s are bullshit and can barely suck the sweaty piss flaps of the likes of Rolling Stone magazine. I would have referenced a nice ball sack for Rolling Stone magazine but they don’t know anything about having a sack much less balls for the last 30 years.

“This is for all you haters.”

I am sorry for my foul language this morning, but as the Dude, Jeffery Lebowski would say, “this aggression on simple musical taste wont stand, man!”

What the holy shit has happened to us as a country, a nation, a world power? Where has our greatness gone? I caught this little blurb of a shithead accepting his award for male pop and rock artist of the year and between wanting to cry, vomit, and then slit my own goddamn throat, it dawned on me, this little shithead is exactly what went wrong. Well him and about a bakers dozen other little shitheads and twats that somehow gained popularity through the failed and homogenized corporate musical machine we swim through in our daily lives.

Where is a drunkin Nikki Sixx and bombed Ozzy rushing that stage knocking the mic out of that pussies hand and then squatting down shitting on him right for live TV?

Where is Zack de la Rocha climbing a stage curtain, lighting, then burning that shit show to the ground in protest of that ass zit of a kid accepting his rock male artist of the year on behalf of his “haters”?

Where was the camera when Scott Weiland and Lemmy from Motorhead were tag teaming this little twerps mother backstage and making her air tight? Oh wait that was in my dreams. Sorry.

This is such bullshit on a colossal level I almost can’t breathe. How does this happen? How do we break out of this horrible dream? This has to be some kind of bizarro world dream. This can’t be real. Its all a horrible horrible dream. I mean this kind of shit and the people that buy into it, would become a nation of pantload sissified gentry that would elect some cockamamie half bastard communist for a president. TWICE! Tell me its a dream. Please for Christ’s sake wake me up from this nightmare.

Anyone that knows me, knows I have a pretty diversified taste in music. Anyone that puts in the time and effort and truly creates musical art is deserving of all the riches and their just due as anyone else. This Bieber music and I use that term very loosely, is simply not music.

Bieber is essentially the cute and charismatic offspring of basically a teenaged slut, who had nothing in life more remarkable then a laptop with a Youtube account. Cute and charismatic kid, cheap webcam, silly haircut, youtube and its welcome to paradise. He’s bigger then the goddamn Beatles without one single iota of an ounce of talent. You think this little shithead is going to sit down at the piano then write and compose the next Hey Jude? Sgt. Peppers? This hump wont bust out the next “I think were alone now” ala 1987 Tiffany.

Knowing all this, who in the hell is listening to him? Obviously a heck of a lot of people. Well I have one thing to say to each and every one of you. Fuck You! You bought into this sham of entertainment and you created a monster in the industry that we’ll never get away from now. This turd realistically should be working birthday parties out of the back of his mothers broken down Celica while she blows frat boys for gas money. Instead he’s getting male pop/rock artist of the year and twenty million twitter followers because you sheep will follow a hand grenade off a cliff in hopes of a blue tomorrow.

Not me! I’ll sit here and bitch for something better. I’ll put out a good word for local music. The guys and girls working in shitty bars, busting ass, sleeping in vans. A chick sleeping in her car with her dog and guitar writing her own music, selling bootleg cassette tapes and teeshirts for her next meal. Those are the deserving artists that should be getting our support. Not these other losers picked from obscurity on the internet, thrown in front of a mic and AUTOTUNED to some corporate garbage Pepsi, Coke, Budweiser, or Ticketmaster thinks you want to listen to.

Oh, and you bastards listening to Flo-Rida, Chris Brown, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry arent innocent in any of this either. There is plenty of stink to go around and you’re all covered in it!

Wake up people.

 

 

 

A Long Long Time Ago

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I can still remember how that music use to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance I could make those people dance.
And maybe they’d be happy for a while.

Is today black Friday? You’re freakin’-A right it is! Hostess Brands the iconic maker of such things as Twinkies, Zingers, Devil Dogs, and Wonder Bread is shutting down and gone.

The company has been in trouble for a couple of years now. When you really look at the numbers from an objective eye to business, this one is a shame. There was obvious management and leadership problems here. It wasn’t too late to fix those issues and the company and board of directors were trying. Want to know what killed this company? The damn unions! 18,000 plus workers get to go home without a job this holiday season and for the first time since 1930 we get to walk through a grocery store and not see a box of Twinkies or a loaf of Wonder Bread for sale.

Being a child of the seventies and eighties, I can tell you these foods were a normal part of life. I didn’t know there was anything other then white sandwich Wonder bread until I was probably twelve years old. In fact there was a loaf of it in my parents house last week. My father still eats it.

Twinkies and Devil Dog snack cakes have an indelible mark on my childhood. My grandmother used to have a dedicated drawer in her kitchen where at any time in history there was a box of Twinkies and or other snacks. Guaranteed! Not just when grandchildren were visiting either. My grandmother as sure as rain had on hand at ALL times Twinkies, Devil Dogs, and out in the refrigerator in the laundry room at least a case of Yoo-Hoo. In fact, I would bet my last dollar right this second that somewhere in Virginia in my grandmother’s kitchen at this very moment is a Twinkie, Ding Dong, Devil Dog, or other reasonable facsimile of a snack cake, junk food, or candy treat with roots to this iconic company. She may not remember it and it could very well be past its published shelf life (which is in and of itself not possible), but I’d bet I am right. If I was there right now, I’d eat that damn thing and sit and cherish fond memories of my grandparents and being a small boy without a care or problem in the world one last time.

It’s a cruel world out there today.

This week I re-visited my homemade pizza recipe and finally published it in the Recipe section of this blog. I have pontificated on New York style pizza and especially making it at home here on this blog in the past. I have come to the conclusion that pizza is pretty much the best food in the world. Getting the basics down and being able pull off a good pie at home is easier then one would think. I tested and retested the basic dough recipe, oven temperatures and cook times. Its a slam dunk. I am now going to move into making my own mozzarella and I have fresh basil growing. I will plant tomatoes this spring. By June of next year, with the exception of the yeast and flour, I fully intend to make a pizza from scratch with everything 100% home grown and or killed. Yes, I will kill a hog and make my own sausage.

Pizza made in the oven, pizza made on the grill, pizza made on the Big Green Egg, I am going to document it all right here. There is too much cheap shitty pizza out there, and I am going to prove we do not need to put up with that garbage.

It just occurred to me. How in the 7th level of hell can we as a country watch the maker of Twinkie and Wonder Bread cease to exist, yet that bullshit Domino’s, Papa Johns, and Pizza Hut can survive through a plague?

Well, not on my watch. YOU NEED ME ON THAT WALL! Can you handle the truth? They can have my pizza when they pry it from my cold dead hands. REMEMBER THE ALAMO and THE TWINKIE!

So that’s where we are on this Friday before Thanksgiving. I got a recipe for Turkey shepherds pie. Its a great way to get rid of leftovers. I’ll put it in the recipe section next week.

Be safe, have fun, love one another and enjoy the weekend.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Pizza

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Pizza is so easy to make at home and better then anything you can buy in a frozen food section at the grocery store. You can also make pizza for about 1/3 of the price then if you buy them from the store or even from your favorite take out pizza shop.

There is one caveat to all things making pizza at home. You need a pizza stone for the oven and you need a pizza peel. (wooden/or metal large spatula shaped thing) Everyone should have a pizza stone in the oven permanently anyway for even heat distribution. I leave mine on the lower rack all the time. It stays in there forever. You can make bread on it, cook other things on it doesn’t matter. I like the rectangular stones more then the circular ones, but by all means use what you want.

Before we get going too far along, I should probably clear something up right now. When I am talking about pizza, I am specifically talking about New York style pizza. Thin-ish crispy outside, lightly chewy and airy interior crust. That Chicago shit isn’t pizza. Yes I went there and said it! Its named the same thing and its usually round but thats where similarities  end. Don’t get me wrong. Chicago style pizza has its place and I like some of it, but to me its not pizza. It’s like midwestern corn-fed healthy survive winter meat pie type food. Its not pizza. I have been all over Italy more then six times and nowhere in any part of that country is there a reasonable facsimile to “Chicago style” pizza. The Italians brought pizza over from Italy. When the GI’s returned from Italy in World War II they wanted the pizza they ate in Italy and pizza as we know it in this country took off based on pizza from Italy. What we call New York style pizza is the closest form of pizza from Italy today and its still not even the same.

There are two tricks you need to make a good New York style pizza at home. Dough and heat. Thats all you need and it doesn’t get much simpler.

Lets talk about the dough. Dough for pizza is easy to make and you need no special ingredients. A decent higher protein/gluten flour, salt, yeast, and water.

There are basically two kinds of flour available in the stores. All purpose and bread flour. Bread flours have a higher protein/gluten level up to 15 percent. All purpose flour is lower and usually only up to 11 percent protein/gluten. King Arthur All Purpose flour is almost 12% and thats what I use. No sense in buying all kinds of different flours. If you cant get King Arthur where you live then get the bread flour.

Dough

Ingredients:

  • 2-1/4 teaspoon Active Dry Yeast
  • 1 cup (8 oz) Warm Water
  • 2-1/2 cups (11.5 oz) Flour
  • 1 teaspoon of Salt

Pour the yeast into the warm water and let sit for 10 minutes until yeast starts to bloom.

Sift the flour and salt together in the bowl of a stand mixer or normal bowl.

When the yeast has bloomed pour the water/yeast into the flour and mix together until just combined. A minute or two in mixer or with a spoon just until a wet shaggy dough forms. This dough will seem wet, do not worry. When its just combined let it sit for fifteen (15) minutes. This is called Autolyse. You’re hydrating the dough, getting the yeast spread throughout the flour. Its ok, just walk away and take a break. Leave it right in the bowl.

Now mix or knead the dough. In a stand mixer with a dough hook let it run on low for ten (10) minutes. Or pour the dough out on a lightly floured surface and hand knead the dough for ten minutes. You may add small amounts of four to tighten the dough up but not too much. Just keep kneading and the dough will come together just fine. Don’t give up. After kneading the dough you have two options.

Option 1: place dough in a lightly oiled ziplock bag and store in refrigerator for up to three (3) days. The dough will ferment in the fridge and develop a stronger deeper flavor.

Option 2: Place the dough into a lightly oiled bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Allow the dough to rise on counter for an hour and half. (1-1/2 hr)

If you put the dough in fridge for a day or so, take out about an hour before you’re ready to use and allow to come to room temperature.

 Heat

Pre-heat your oven and pizza baking stone an hour before making pizza. Set your oven as high as it will go. 450-500 degrees. Don’t be scared. Make that sucker like a blast furnace. Its winter time, who cares? Release hell in that oven. Heat the stone up for an hour.

Assembly

Take your dough and on a lightly floured surface punch down and knead for a minute or so. Cut dough in half. There will be enough for two (2) nine inch pies. Take first half on lightly floured surface and roll dough out. At first it will seem to spring back and not want to roll out. Keep going and be patient. It will stretch out. Roll it out to about the size of your pizza peel and or pizza stone. Once its rolled and stretched out, transfer the dough to a well floured peel. Don’t be scared to rub some serious flour on the peel but don’t get crazy. Just lay the dough on the floured peel. When you shake the peel back and forth the dough should gently slide back and forth with little resistance.

Now here is where you make the pizza your own:

Sauce the pizza. You can buy jars of pizza sauce or make your own. I have done both. Its up to you.

Cheese the pizza. Fresh slices of Mozzarella, shredded, whole milk, low fat milk, your choice. You want the whole milk cheese though. It melts better and doesn’t taste like rubber. How much cheese you put on the pie is up to you. I find less is more. Do what you like.

Toppings. Add the toppings you like. Again less is more. This time I had a green Bell pepper and some red onion to get rid of so guess what I used? Pepperoni, sausage, its up to you.

Cook

Now carefully take your assembled pizza and transfer the pie to the pre-heated pizza stone. Gently shake the peel back and forth and the pie will want to run off the end of the peel. Place it on the stone and close oven.

Now if you are running the oven at 450 or above, don’t go far. The pizza will be done in six (6) minutes or less. Start checking it about the four minute mark. You want the cheese to melt get a little brown but not burn. It will go fast so pay attention.

When done, carefully pick up the side of the crust and slide peel under the pizza and pull out of oven on pizza peel.

You just made your own pizza. If you followed this recipe and instructions it should look closely to these examples.

 

 

 

 

 

 

See? Its so easy to do and make. You will also be amazed at how good they taste. Oh yea, there is also about $2 worth of ingredients here.

Pizza
 
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Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
Easy NY style pizza made in the comfort of home.
Author:
Recipe type: Entree
Cuisine: Italian
Serves: 2
Ingredients
  • Dough
  • 2-1/4 teaspoon Active Dry Yeast
  • 1 cup (8 oz) Warm Water
  • 2-1/2 cups (11.5 oz) Flour
  • 1 teaspoon of Salt
Instructions
  1. Dough
  2. Pour the yeast into the warm water and let sit for 10 minutes until yeast starts to bloom.
  3. Sift the flour and salt together in the bowl of a stand mixer or normal bowl.
  4. When the yeast has bloomed pour the water/yeast into the flour and mix together until just combined. A minute or two in mixer or with a spoon just until a wet shaggy dough forms. This dough will seem wet, do not worry. When its just combined let it sit for fifteen (15) minutes. This is called Autolyse. You’re hydrating the dough, getting the yeast spread throughout the flour. Its ok, just walk away and take a break. Leave it right in the bowl.
  5. Now mix or knead the dough. In a stand mixer with a dough hook let it run on low for ten (10) minutes. Or pour the dough out on a lightly floured surface and hand knead the dough for ten minutes. You may add small amounts of four to tighten the dough up but not too much. Just keep kneading and the dough will come together just fine. Don’t give up. After kneading the dough you have two options.
  6. Option 1: place dough in a lightly oiled ziplock bag and store in refrigerator for up to three (3) days. The dough will ferment in the fridge and develop a stronger deeper flavor.
  7. Option 2: Place the dough into a lightly oiled bowl and cover with plastic wrap. Allow the dough to rise on counter for an hour and half. (1-1/2 hr)
  8. If you put the dough in fridge for a day or so, take out about an hour before you’re ready to use and allow to come to room temperature.
  9. Heat
  10. Pre-heat your oven and pizza baking stone an hour before making pizza. Set your oven as high as it will go. 450-500 degrees. Don’t be scared. Make that sucker like a blast furnace. Its winter time, who cares? Release hell in that oven. Heat the stone up for an hour.
  11. Assembly
  12. Take your dough and on a lightly floured surface punch down and knead for a minute or so. Cut dough in half. There will be enough for two (2) nine inch pies. Take first half on lightly floured surface and roll dough out. At first it will seem to spring back and not want to roll out. Keep going and be patient. It will stretch out. Roll it out to about the size of your pizza peel and or pizza stone. Once its rolled and stretched out, transfer the dough to a well floured peel. Don’t be scared to rub some serious flour on the peel but don’t get crazy. Just lay the dough on the floured peel. When you shake the peel back and forth the dough should gently slide back and forth with little resistance.
  13. Now here is where you make the pizza your own:
  14. Sauce the pizza. You can buy jars of pizza sauce or make your own. I have done both. Its up to you.
  15. Cheese the pizza. Fresh slices of Mozzarella, shredded, whole milk, low fat milk, your choice. You want the whole milk cheese though. It melts better and doesn’t taste like rubber. How much cheese you put on the pie is up to you. I find less is more. Do what you like.
  16. Toppings. Add the toppings you like. Again less is more. This time I had a green Bell pepper and some red onion to get rid of so guess what I used? Pepperoni, sausage, its up to you.
  17. Cook
  18. Now carefully take your assembled pizza and transfer the pie to the pre-heated pizza stone. Gently shake the peel back and forth and the pie will want to run off the end of the peel. Place it on the stone and close oven.
  19. Now if you are running the oven at 450 or above, don’t go far. The pizza will be done in six (6) minutes or less. Start checking it about the four minute mark. You want the cheese to melt get a little brown but not burn. It will go fast so pay attention.
  20. When done, carefully pick up the side of the crust and slide peel under the pizza and pull out of oven on pizza peel.

 

The Hits Keep Coming

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As I sit here this morning and think about this past week I have to wonder to myself, where the hell did the winners go? Mitt Romney please fall in to the line “B” loser express. Allen West please get in behind Romney, and now Miami Dolphins Football go get your ass into the FAIL line too. The carnival ride of “WTF happened” will commence in moments. The Hits Keep Coming.

The Titans came down to Florida yesterday and put a world class ass whooping on the Miami Dolphins. Its a game the Dolphins should have won. Much like Mitt Romney and Allen West there is plenty of misery going around the state this past week.

I went down to the game with some friends yesterday and aside from the beat down Miami took at the hands of Tennessee, it was a good time. Weather was excellent, we ate well and otherwise enjoyed each others company.

I know, you want to know what we ate while getting our tailgate on. Here, take a gander. Steak, potato salad crab stuffed mushrooms and shrimp skewers. There was some beers, chips and dip in there too. Back of a truck in a parking lot, not too shabby, until I took a little walk around. There are some folks there feeding a small army with enough great food to put a 3 star Michelin restaurant to shame.

The cheerleaders were nice to look at. Just thought I’d throw that out there. Probably should have let them suit up and play the Titans now that I think of it. The ladies probably would have done better then a 37-3 final. Oh well, I am not complaining. My NY Jets stunk the place up taking an equally embarrassing beating from the Seahawks with a 28-7 final.

So that pretty much sums up politics and NFL football so far for the month of November. Nothing has gone according to plan.

Luckily I have a great set of friends and family and no matter what we’ll ride these crappy times out looking after each other. As weekends go it wasn’t a bad one. Now if we can get through this Monday we’ll be golden.

Oh wait a second. I almost forgot. I believe I ate the best damn potato salad in my life yesterday. I mean potato salad is potato salad right? Wrong. I have made potato salad a million times, bought potato salad another million times. Potato salad dosn’t usually stand out to me. My friend Talisa made some for the game yesterday. There was bacon in it and I dont know what else but it was good. This is going to definitely affect the rotation on the dinner club meet ups. Thats all I am saying.

Alright thats it. Its Veterans day and I need to exercise my veteranism. I may post the story about when I was in the Marine Corps and during the civil war in Liberia in the early 90’s. I went ashore with the 26 MEU to evacuate the American Embassy in Monrovia.  Manning a machine gun post while watching the natives kill themselves was an adventure.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Hold On, I’m Coming

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Don’t you ever, be sad
Lean on me, when times get bad
When the day come, and you know your down
In a river of trouble, your bout to drown

Friday afternoon and no Brock blog? What the heck? You’re safe, I’m here and didn’t forget. Let’s bust this mother out.

I never thought I would wish for Thanksgiving and the holidays to get here, but I am this year. Between the election, the weather, birthdays its a never ending roller coaster ride of emotion, stress and other nonsense.

I finally went ahead and upgraded the iPhone 4 to a 5 this week. I have been using iPhones since they came out and I must say I am pretty happy with this new model. I never really paid attention to the incremental releases such as the 3S or 4S but rather just go for the new full models when released. The nice thing now is I have started selling back my old iPhones to websites like www.gazelle.com It really doesn’t get any easier. You enter in what kind of phone you have to sell and the condition. Gazelle gives you a quote to buy it back and the quote is good for 30 days. If you choose, Gazelle will then send you a free box and shipping package with pre-paid postage to send the phone back to them. When they get your old phone, Gazelle will send you a check, deposit to your Paypal account or send you gift cards to Amazon etc. You can also send the phone back in your own packaging and print a shipping label right from the website.

In essence my new $200 iPhone 5 only costs me $60 to upgrade. I received $140 for my old iPhone 4. If you have an iPhone 4S Gazelle is offering $215 for it! That means if you are eligible to upgrade iPhones through your carrier from a 4S to a new 5 for the subsidized price of $199, Gazelle will give you enough money that after tax you should be able to upgrade your iPhone for free with Happy Meal money left over.

In all the iPhone 5 is probably the best of the iPhones yet. Better camera, better bigger display, faster chipset all in a thinner smaller case. Then there is Siri. A lot of people don’t like it and don’t use it. Frankly I didn’t think I would either, but I have to be honest. I have been playing with it and she works. In fact she is typing and creating this entire blog post for me right now while I drink coffee and scratch my nuts. Ok well I am kidding. I’n not scratching my nuts. However the service does work so far for me and its pretty neat. I had her post an update to my Facebook page and all I did was ask her to and tell her what I wanted the status update to say and ding, that was it. Pretty cool. It’s nice to have a friendly subordinate female in my life again who’s only mission is to make me happy. Bitch still wont make me a sandwich, but she’ll find one online and order the darn thing. I’m serious. I was so impressed with Siri this morning when I asked her how cold it was outside and the information she returned to me, I then thanked her. Siri came back and replied, “No Brock, its you I should be thanking.” I had tears in my eyes and wanted to propose on the spot. I think I am in love. We’ll see how long the honeymoon lasts.

Sunday I am supposed to be going to watch the Dolphins play the Titans down in Miami with some friends. Kind of looking forward to it since lord knows Rex Ryan has ran one up my proverbial ass with what he has done with the Jets this year. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not jumping ship to the Dolphins but they seem to be shaking out some of the kinks I have been watching them play with the last couple of years. Frankly speaking a decent group of Pop Warner kids hopped up on leftover Halloween candy should beat the Titans so we’ll see what Miami can do on Sunday. Pictures to follow.

That’s really all there is to report this Friday afternoon. The blogosphere and internet are still in contraction with all the “told you so” bullshit comments going back and forth about the election results. I have given my opinion on the matter and frankly don’t care about it anymore. I’ll take care of “mines” as my socialists friends like to say and move along.

Funny thing  and rather ironic as I think about it. National Geographic or Discovery channel or a combination of the two are running new shows about “prep’ers” and “gold mining”. The prep’ers are all getting ready for the end of the world stockpiling fool and ammo, living off the land, building bunkers etc. I watched with curiosity the last couple weeks and thought to myself. “What a bunch of whack jobs”. Then I look at the stock market after the election. UGH! Gold is a damn safe place to put your money folks. I would do it now if you have the means. Gold is going to go up even from where it is now. If not gold think precious metals and other cash positions. Those doomsday prep’ers don’t seem too freaking crazy right now either.

TGIF folks. Be nice to each other. The ass you have to kiss today may be the one you have to wipe tomorrow.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Stay calm and carry on.

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By now we all the know the answer to the big question. It seems that what I was afraid was going to happen actually happened.

In America you’re not going to win an election for president without support from women, the blacks or hispanics. As polarizing as that statement may be its the cold hard truth. Lets look at the numbers a little more closely.

Obama had 93% of the black vote. Obamas administration and the democratic party cater to this demographic and have essentially enslaved them with government programs such as welfare, food stamps, healthcare, unemployment. When you’re Mitt Romney and trying to ride the Reagan wave of the 80’s with voters you can not alienate this group with silly off hand comments of “47%’ers” not paying their way no matter how true it may be! Being white and trying to convince this core group of voters to vote for you when they have a black candidate who signs the checks is hurdle enough. Yes its a race problem. The majority of the 93% black vote went to Obama because he is black. Its that simple and anyone arguing otherwise is a liar or just plain stupid. Compound that ideology with providing this core group of voters with the government programs the republican party wants to trim and shrink down in the name of personal responsibility and you have an up hill battle. Romney failed miserably with this demographic and so does the republican party.

Obama had 69-70% of the hispanic/latino vote. This I would not directly blame Mitt Romney more then I would blame the republican party itself. Mitt knew this was an issue early in the race and went to the republican party and explained to them the national conversation on the hispanic and latino issue should be integration and legal immigration rather then deportation. The republicans and tea-party old school lives by “send the goddamn illegals back home, fuck em”! Well guess what? Who do you think is coming to this country and actually doing all the work and busting their asses that the 93% of the group mentioned above does NOT do? YEP. Love it or hate it the hispanic and latinos in this country are the ones picking fruit, mowing grass, laying tile, basically doing all the shit work in this country the blacks wont do. When you as the republican party go after this group with threats of deportation (Arizona) you’re not going to win favors or votes with the group. Mitt knew and understands this. The republican party however is stuck in the dark ages on this matter. The solution is not to just deport the illegals, the solution is to get the illegals here that are working, legal and on the fucking TAX ROLLS.

Obama had 55% of married women and 68% of unmarried women. Do we even need to discuss this? Abortion. Look there is nothing wrong with having religious convictions and those convictions shaping who you are and how you conduct yourself. No one is taking that away from anyone. The bottom line however is pretty clear and simple. Shut the fuck up about it, its not your problem. Abortion is a states right issue. It has no place at the national level. Down to the brass tacks? It’s a woman’s right and hers and hers alone issue. The feds have no more right telling a religious organization to provide birth control as the fed has a right saying a woman can not have free access to it. Whether you like it or don’t abortion is a form of birth control. No one cares what your god says about abortion and no one is taking away your belief in what your god tells you to think about abortion. The sooner we all accept this and stop trying to shove our morality or lack of down the throats of the other the better we will all be. Here’s another tip to the republicans. Douche out your fucking head gear. Homosexuals live among us and they are a fact of life. They are going to get married, love each other, adopt and raise kids. Again the fags aren’t shoving their lifestyle down anyones throat and this notion that two queers can get married and it somehow negates your marriage between you and your wife/husband is silly and just plain bullshit. Get used to it. Your marriage to your wife/husband will never be any less sanctified to you and your god just because two dudes or two women want to have the same piece of government paper saying they are married as you and your wife/husband have.

I think Mitt could have been a good President. Obama is still an evil socialist pig. However, Obama didn’t do anything in this election any other democrat would have done. Obama played the cards the republican party dealt him. Until we as the republican party stop handing these elections away to the democrats by simple and stupid mistakes we are going to slide the slippery slope to universal and socialized everything that Obama and his party are greasing the skids to right now.

One of two things is the only way out of this mess we are creating for ourselves.

Outright revolt and revolution. By that I mean we attack and take back everything and re-boot. Taxes, government, term limits for house and senate, two party system, campaign finance etc. We allowed these scumbags to legislate the system into a good old boys/girls club that has NOTHING to do with the people they are claiming to represent. Its about $ and self preservation.

Or

The republican / conservative party really takes a good hard look at itself. This isn’t fucking 1980 anymore. Ronald Reagan was great and awesome, but we don’t need another and the people who voted him in office aren’t here any more. By “here” I mean way the fuck out in the fringe of right wing conservatism. We as a political party are going nowhere until we convince those centralist voters who are heading and gone left in the last two elections to come back this way. You cant just bargain with those people with a promise of a good job any more. Especially when the democrats and socialists are providing proof to them they can take the attitude of “fuck a job, I got a free Obama phone”. Give them work, give them dignity to succeed and be responsible. Do not trade one for another with religious morality, deportation and true deserved welfare necessity.

I can go on about how Obama is a fraud, and an anti-colonial apologist who is hell bent on making America into a 3rd and 4th rate nation. It will be a miracle if we pull out of this next presidential term in tact as a super power able to compete and protect ourselves in the world. There is a lot to worry about and hate with the administration. However, as a republican and conservative there is whole bunch wrong we as a party need to unfuck and clean up internally if we think we are ever going to regain power and restore this nation to true prosperity and greatness.

So in the meantime I am taking the attitude to Stay Calm and Carry On. I’ll protect my money and assets as best as I can. I’ll watch with interest how we as a party stop this polarizing bullshit, and hope we can work things back this way through peaceful means. If not let the revolution begin. I am ready to go to ground, and I wont feel bad at all when we line up all the traitors against the wall.

As the great American poet Mr. Williams Jr. once said

I can skin a buck and run a trout line because a country boy can…..