Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Pie

Recipe by Lauren Weisenthal via Serious Eats.

Ingredients:

  • 9 ounces of Oreo cookies
  • 3 tablespoons of melted unsalted butter
  • 10 ounces of heavy cream divided in half
  • 8 ounces of cream cheese room temperature
  • 4 ounces of confectioners sugar sifted
  • 1/2 teaspoon of salt
  • 12 ounces of creamy peanut butter
  • 5 ounces of dark chocolate chopped fine

Directions:

  • Crush the Oreo cookies in a food processor to fine crumbs. With processor running pour in melted butter until crumbs are evenly coated. Pour mixture into a pie plate and press the crumbs into the bottom and up the sides as evenly as possible. Refrigerate for 20 minutes to set up.

  • Whip 5 ounces of the heavy cream to soft peaks and set aside in fridge.In bowl of stand mixer whip room temperature cream cheese, confectioners sugar and salt together. Add peanut butter and continue to whip until well incorporated. Last add the previously whipped cream into the cheese/sugar/peanut butter mixture and whip together until smooth and even consistency. Pour peanut butter mixture into chilled Oreo pie shell and smooth evenly with spatula. Return pie to refrigerator and chill for 30 minutes.

  • Heat remaining 5 ounces of heavy cream until just before boiling. Pour heated cream over finely chopped 5 ounces of chocolate. Let sit for 2 minutes. Stir cream and chocolate together until smooth and silky. Pour chocolate mixture over chilled pie and smooth with spatula. Chill pie until chocolate sets 10+ minutes.

Enjoy.

Johnny was a school boy

When he heard his first Beatles song.
Love Me Do, I think it was and from there it didn’t take him long.

Happy Monday gang. Yes I know Mondays are the worst. Watching the weekends go by, I am surprised they go so fast, looking around me, well I made the big time at last. Opps. Still channeling Paul Rogers and Bad Company. Did you know Elton John actually wrote Shooting Star? Bet you didn’t, but you do now.

Did you know Pete Townshend is credited with creating the Marshall Stack? Don’t know what a Marshall Stack is exactly? Been to a real rock and roll concert in your life? See the Marshall amps from floor to ceiling? Yea those. Pete Townshend of The Who requested more amplification from Marshall, who designed special 8X12″ cabinets with 100 watt tube amps. 1959 Marshall Super Lead was born. Townshend used 4 of these setups on stage. Love and loud music can cure your problems, you’re so lucking I am around.

Well, I guess I have get this next part over with sooner or later. I have tried to stall by dazzling you with catchy lyrics and rock and roll trivia long enough.

My New York football Jets took a good old fashioned ass whooping from the Miami Dolphins. They deserved every single bit of it too. No wonder Eva Longoria dumped Mark Sanchez. Sanchez is a retard (yes I said the word “retard” don’t shoot me pro-retard people) and as someone who didn’t and still doesn’t buy into the Tim Tebow hype machine, I am beginning to wish Ryan would start playing him and develop his arm. It would be nice to salvage next season with a capable quarter back and leader on the team, as it is now I think were circling the drain on this season. Division playoffs this year is a stretch.

I will say however the nicest part about watching my Jets lose these last two weeks has been the ass of my waitress at the local joint where my friends and I have been taking in the game. Its your typical NFL Sunday 5000 flat screen every game on tv kind of place. The waitstaff are all beautiful girls with football jerseys and very small short shorts. Our waitress these last two weeks has been the same girl. She has an incredible ass. As I sit here and reflect on its beauty and those awesome short shorts I have realized I may be growing up. Why? Because I just now realized for the last two Sundays in a row, I have taken pictures of the great wings this place makes but not one single “creep shot” of this girls great ass. The honeymoon on my lecherous life is over. I guess I am a big boy now. Alright I admit, she has a nice ass, but the rest of her is great too. She even brought me some birthday ice cream, thank you great ass waitress girl! I imagined eating it off her butt. Guess Im still a pig. Thanks to a great group of friends that put up with my twisted humor and logic too, I am pretty blessed to have a great group of people in my life.

So hurricane Sandy is going to douche out the northeast. I have a few friends and family up that way. I hope they wont be affected to badly. The rest of you humps I sure hope you get power and transportation restored quickly. Just a little FYI from a Florida hurricane veteran. It can take upwards of a month to restore power when a good hurricane comes ashore. This affects everything from gasoline at pumps and food in stores, so be patient. Oh yea, and I hope you bastards got your Obama early vote in too, because I would just be heart broken if you couldn’t vote in the general election on November 6th from lack of power and transportation. See even God and Mother Nature know Obama sucks.

I’ll get this posted up so I can go make some pie. I like pie. I like chocolate and peanut butter pie.

More tomorrow. Hang in folks and be safe if you live in the northeast.

Let ‘er rip, tater chip!

Mary, Mary why you buggin’

Mary, Mary I need ya huggin’

Sorry was getting my throwback on with a little Run DMC. Such simpler times those were. Sometimes I really miss them and at others I’m happily contented that they are long gone.

Well its Friday again, there’s a hurricane offshore and the local media is in another full fledged “oh shit” panic attack because of it. To better illustrate the insanity of hurricanes and the local media for all you long distance readers of this blog, right about now all the native Florida “crackers” (non-derogatory term for life long Floridians) are pretty much wishing for another Romney/Obama commercial on TV as compared to another “weather bimbo” screaming about the destructive forces and possible cone of death we may or may not be in the path of. Its absolutely mind numbing to listen to the idiots on tv prognosticate about hurricanes. In the end though I guess its necessary because if theres anything I have learned from simple observation in life its that inherently people are stupid.

By now everyone knows Donald Trump is half a choad and surfs the waves of douchebaggery.  Earlier this week “The Donald” issued an offer to President Obama. The offer was simple, release all college transcripts entrance applications and his application for a passport and in exchange Mr. Trump would within an hour write a check for $5 Million dollars to any charity of President Obama’s choosing. That is 5 million dollars!!  A five and six zeros and two commas to the left of the decimal point for all you playing at home.

We all know Trump loves publicity and is an opportunists at every turn. Trump makes no bones about it. But lets look at this a little deeper and at its most fundamental core.

Who the hell is Barack Obama? Get past all the birther bullshit. (we’ll even disregard for a moment his “long form birth certificate is fake with every single document expert and authority stating as much) Who is the guy? Every single President before him has disclosed every single piece of information that Obama has under lock and key. Why is that?

I dont care that Obama smoked dope and sold coke in college. I don’t care that his grades reflect he’s a moron. We know all this already. My question is simple. Why hide this information from the public? Bush was an idiot and he put his grades out there to prove it. He didnt hide from it.

Obama claims to be transparent and run a transparent administration. Meaning everything is open to public and above board. Why does that train come crashing to a screaming halt whenever the finger is pointed to his past?

Do you folks realize President Obama went to college, post graduate, received a law degree and there isnt even a paragraph of a book report written by this man about a nursery rhyme? Who the hell is he?

Well Brock he wrote a book isn’t that good enough?

I’ll be honest, I read “his” books. I wanted to know who the hell the guy was more then “well Oprah loves him”. If you were like me and read the books then you know they are not his words. Those words belong to Bill Ayers. You might not know him. I’ll help you. He is essentially a homegrown terrorist who was part of the communist group called the Weather Underground in the 1960’s. Ayers and his pals bombed government buildings and police stations in protest of the Vietnam war. Ayers is popular in the corrupt Chicago liberal scene and has written a lot. Take a look at some of his writing and then Obama’s books. Just beware of the lightning during your own personal watershed moment.

When you get past the bullshit of Trump and then all the liberal media labeling him an idiot for making the offer to Obama for his transcripts, there is a fundamental issue at hand here.

Why does Obama jump up and down demanding that Mitt Romney should disclose twenty years of tax returns, but Obama tells Trump to go fuck himself before he releases a simple piece of paper showing his request to attend Occidental, Columbia or Harvard?

Not only does Obama tell Trump to blow himself, Obama tells the very people of this country he claims to represent (middle class, under privileged, poor) to go to hell that essentially any charitable group representing those people in this country or world is NOT worth $5 Million dollars to Obama!

Do you know what $5 Million dollars buys for say Michelle Obama’s fat kid school lunch crap initiative?

This is the easiest and quickest $5 Million dollars this man will ever see in his life. All this for a simple couple of pieces of paper. Obama wont do it. Why? Obama has an opportunity to score a metric ton of cash for some people who could really use that money to make a difference. Obama has a chance to take a metric ton of money from a bonafide jackoff and shut him up for all eternity. Why wouldn’t he do that?

I’ll tell you why. Obama is a fraud. Everything about the mans life is bullshit. You think Bernie Madoff pulled a scam on the people of the world in epic proportions? You haven’t seen anything yet. When it comes to light, what and who Obama really is and has done to this country it will make Madoff look like he only stole a box of Girl Scout thin mints. The fraud Obama has perpetrated to get into office and then what he has done while there will only be surpassed on the shame the people of this nation will share in for putting him in the office in the first place. We all fell asleep at the switch, and for what? Some glimmer of “hope and change” when we were really down on our luck and starring into the abyss?

What did all of our grandfathers and mothers and their parents and the greatest generation that saved the world and this country teach us? We deserve what we do to each other under Obama. We put him in office. What we cant do, is go back to that greatest generation and honor their sacrifices and regain their trust for what we have done.

Obama’s got nothing and has done nothing. I am smart enough to see through his bullshit, and his biased and contextually incorrect “facts”. That doesn’t bother me. All politicians do that. My problem is far more simple. Who is Obama?

I’ll take Mitt this time. Is he showing up on some issues crooked as a dogs hind leg? You bet your ass he is. The difference is he shows up crooked and not a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I’ll take that honesty in a scumbag any day.

Yes, “The Donald” may have a bad hairpiece and be a douche. When you get past all that, he cuts to the quick and knows a dirtbag when he sees one. Donald is dead on this time and he has $5 Million reasons in his pocket on why he is 100% correct.

Off the soap box and quick Lucas update:

Does your dog watch TV? Mine does. Well let me rephrase. All my dogs have watched TV.

When my Golden Retriever Lucille was around she really didn’t care about the TV when it was on. That is unless I was watching Cesar Millan the Dog Whisperer on National Geographic. No matter what if I turned on Cesar and there were dogs running around Lucille would walk up to the TV and very closely watch what the dogs on tv were doing.

Fast forward. Now there is a new dog around since Lucille decided to deprive me of her company.

Lucas doesn’t care much about TV. Same as Lucille. Lucas also doesn’t give a damn about Cesar and his pack of dogs. However Lucas doesn’t like scary movies. Paranormal Activity #3 to be exact.

I was watching Paranormal Activity 3 on Netflix this past week. I have enjoyed these movies in that past. They are silly and go for the cheap scare. Every time the suspense would build and I was getting that feeling of “oh shit something about to happen” Lucas would be staring at the TV growling and barking. It was so strange. There wasnt anything on the screen to catch his attention, but the suspense was building up and sure enough in a second or two…bam. Something scary would happen. Lucas would bark, growl and I’d piss myself.

Little guy has some heart. He was all bowed up ready to roll. I was so proud. The scene in the movie would calm down, so would he. Suspense would build back up, there was Lucas ready to throw down again.

So I can happily report two things. All my dogs have taken notice and actively watched some kind of TV program with great interest. Second, Paranormal Activity 3 is pretty good if you enjoy suspenseful cheap shock factor of these kind of movies.

 

So long weekend we hardly knew you.

As I sit here with mixed emotions pondering the weekend, I guess I have to say it was a good one. Well they are always good, just go by too fast which we have discussed previously.

Sunday I awoke to a small “Cool Front” here in sunny Florida. Cool is 77 degrees and humidity below 85 percent. Below 74 degrees and its freezing and I start swearing. It was like 69 degrees at 6:30 am Sunday. I headed for the central heat. Relax. I didn’t turn it on.

I did fire up the oven and make some cinnamon rolls though. I felt rather re-newed and in a fall-ish mood so figured what the hell. Facebooked my intentions for baking, and had some friends over to help me eat the goodness.

I put the recipe over in the recipe section.

Guys if you can change your own oil, fix a flat tire, and replace a burnt out light bulb, you can bake these. Now I know, you’re saying, “why the hell make those when I can buy them in the grocery store and be done in 30 minutes or less”? I’ll tell you why. It’s because these are better. They will always be better, and now listen to me closely. If you make these for say your wife or girlfriend you will score major points. Remember the pancakes and waffles I showed you a few weeks back? Same thing here. A woman will love you long time if you take a turn and cook for her once in a while. Sure you can impress her with some Pillsbury tube rolls from the dairy section. She’ll be so proud of you for making the effort. If you makes these from scratch and put in the little extra effort the rewards will be increased by a factor of say eight or nine. You are moving into well lets just say your moving into Corvettes and Harley Davidson territory and the other private things you only get on your birthdays. Ok maybe not, but it cleans up your “punk card” and puts credit in the bank for later screw up.

Yesterday afternoon I caught some football at a local joint with friends. I ate some wings and watched the Jets loose to the Patriots. I have been a Jets fan for many years but I am about the throw in the towel on Sanchez. I can put up with Rex Ryan’s fat ass.  The Tebow mania doesn’t bother me. That bumbling idiot Sanchez is getting on my nerves. Its understandable if Sanchez doesn’t have the necessary protection on the offensive line, but for Christ’s sake, if he needs to unload the ball 10 yards or less in a hurry he’s like a retarded moron. How can a NFL quarterback fire a ball 30 yards like a bullet but cant get it 10 feet when he’s under rush pressure? Then when the damn fool hangs on to the ball when he is in trouble, he can’t hang on to the thing and hit the ground without it popping into the opponents hands. It was hard to see them loose to New England last night. That should have been a win. Oh well. What are you going to do? Well I know what I would do. I would have Tebow’s ass throwing the ball 1500 times a day until he developed that arm into NFL material then tell him to put his magic Jesus underwear on and start him.

Speaking of Jesus and whatnot, yesterday I learned something. There are churches that have “love offerings” during the service. I also learned that certain people who may or may not attend these churches that have “love offerings” also have rather twisted and foul thoughts regarding certain acts of love. Now I am not purposely trying to be cryptic here because frankly I only got a portion of the conversation. The point is sometimes you hear the strangest things from some of the people whom you’d never expect to hear such things from. I almost blushed, in fact I may have. I cant say for certain if what this person was talking about and the love offerings at this particular church are connected, but I most certainly asked more about the church. I may need to get some of this churching in that my friend seems to be involved in. Im just saying. I’ll report back on this topic as I learn more.

Try and have a good Monday.

Let’er rip tater chip!

Cinnamon Rolls

Cinnamon Rolls.

Ingredients: (Dough)

  • 8 oz of warm water (Lukewarm)
  • 2-1/2 teaspoons of active yeast.
  • 12-3/4 oz of all purpose flour
  • 1-1/4 oz of sugar
  • 1-1/4 teaspoon of salt
  • 5/8 oz of nonfat dry milk
  • 1-1/2 oz of instant mashed potato flakes
  • 3 oz of room temperature butter (unsalted)

Dissolve the yeast into the luke warm water and let sit for about 5-10 minutes. Meanwhile whisk together all the dry ingredients together in a bowl. I use the bowl to my stand mixer. Now pour the water/yeast mixture into the dry ingredients and also add in the room temperature butter. Mix and kneed until a smooth cohesive dough forms. I use the stand mixer with a dough hook and it take about 7 minutes. You should have the following.

Cover the bowl and let dough rise for about an hour. It will puff up and about double in volume.

Ingredients: (Filling)

  • 3 oz of granulated sugar
  • 1-1/2 tablespoon cinnamon
  • 2 teaspoons of all purpose flour
  • 2-4 tablespoons milk

In a small bowl whisk together the sugar, cinnamon, and all purpose flour. Set aside the milk.

On a lightly floured surface, roll out dough you made previously that is rising in the covered bowl. You will want to roll the dough out into a rectangle about 12″X18″. You don’t have to be precise. Just roll the dough into a rectangle about 3/8″ thick. Should look like the following.

Now take the reserved milk and brush it all over the rolled out dough. Leave about an inch space around the perimeter. You can use a pastry brush, your hand, paint roller, airless sprayer, crop duster whatever you have handy.

Now spread the sugar and cinnamon mixture on the dough. Gently using your hand level it all out. Should look like the following.

Now just roll the dough up lengthwise into one long cylindrical log. Next take a serrated knife and cut the dough in half. Then cut the two halves in half. Continue cutting each half in half until you have 16 rolls.

Place 8 of the cut cinnamon rolls into a 9″ lightly greased pie pan. Put the other 8 rolls in another lightly greased pie pan. You will have two 9″ pie pans with cinnamon rolls.

The rolls need to rise again. Notice there is plenty of space and the rolls look smallish. Don’t worry. Yeast is magic and working. These rolls need to rise about another hour to an hour and a half. The best place for this to happen is in an UNHEATED oven with the light turned on. So turn on the oven light, put these pans in the oven and check them in an hour and fifteen minutes. The rolls will rise and double in size. See?!

Once the rolls have risen and doubled in size, remove from oven. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees. Now bake the rolls for 20-25 minutes.

While the rolls bake,make the glaze.

Ingredients: (Glaze)

  • 1/2 cup confectioners sugar
  • 3-4 tablespoons of milk
  • 1-1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract

Sift sugar into small bowl. Add milk and vanilla extract and stir well. You should end up with a smooth glaze. If its too loose, add sugar. If too thick add some milk. When its to the consistency you like, pour over the hot cinnamon rolls when they come out of the oven like below.

Cut one or ten out, and chow down. A little more work and pre-planning, but these will beat anything you buy in a tube at the grocery store. It also makes the house smell nice.

 

Mother do you think…

…she’s good enough…to me?
Mother do you think she’s dangerous…to me?
Mother will she tear your little boy apart?
Mother will she break my heart?

First things first. TGIF! Another week down and another start to weekend freedom. Hell yeah!

Its funny how something in life whether its a smell, sight, or even a mood will trigger something in your head to recall a particular song. Then once that song becomes the daily ear worm and you sing or hum it for the twenty-seven thousand time, it will bring you back to a memory of a time of your life.

I can remember the very first time I learned about Pink Floyd and The Wall. Where I lived, where I went to school, the color of my bicycle. I can recall where I was in high school when I actually bought The Wall on cassette tape and the car I drove and where I worked after school.

I wouldn’t necessarily even consider myself a big Pink Floyd fan. There is no denying the masterpiece of The Wall or Dark Side of the Moon. I was just never a huge fan, but you have to admit when a song can stick with you and make such an impression that lasts throughout your life, I guess as a creative artist you have done your job well.

Jesus, now that I think about it, Wish You Were Here, is like my  personal kryptonite. It’s like the movie equivalent of the ending of Forest Gump. I’ll listen or watch each one a hundred times alone, but not with a girl or any other person in the room. Just cant get through them. Sorry, not sorry.

Moving along.

I was going to wait until I blogged about this next bit but I cant. I am currently reading the book Life After Death, by Damien Echols. (Amazon Link). The name may sound familiar to you, if not thats ok too. I’ll help you out.

Damien Echols is one of the West Memphis Three. Damien spent 18 years on death row for the wrongful conviction of murdering three small boys in West Memphis, Tennessee. Damien’s case became the subject of three HBO documentaries, and countless high profile supporters such as Johnny Depp, Eddie Vedder and others who took up the cause to see that justice was served in freeing Damien and his other two friends from their wrongful convictions.

In a nutshell and long story short. The West Memphis Three were three high school kids who were convicted of murdering three eight year old boys, without a single piece of physical evidence linking any of them to the murders. They were your typical minority, goth-ish, emo-ish, different kids in school.  Nothing more. Well a little more, they were poor and in one of the cases of the three mentally handicapped and being easily manipulated into a false confession.

Want to see just how much our legal system can come off the tracks and do harm? Look no further then this case.

Anyway, last year the three kids (now men) were release from prison. New DNA evidence was collected that showed none of the convicted were at the crime scene at all. The only DNA that was at the crime scene was that of one of the dead kids step fathers, and another person whom was providing the step father an alibi whose testimony later is refuted by a number of eyewitnesses stating he was seen with all the victims an hour before the murders took place.

You would think after falsely accusing then convicting three innocent people for these crimes and after eighteen years of incarceration the state of Arkansas would want to make amends? Not quite. The state of Arkansas after ruining these kid lives for eighteen years, took one more swipe at them. In a very rare circumstance the state of Arkansas made the West Memphis Three take what is called an Alford Plea. The three had to basically plead guilty to three counts of murder, but maintaining their innocence and they would then be released for time served. This allowed them to get out of jail, but not be able to sue the state of Arkansas for the false conviction. Had they not taken the plea deal a new trial could have lasted another five years.

Damien, who was thought to be the ringleader of the three and sentenced to death, has written a book about his childhood and death row experiences. When I tell you Damien wrote the book, I mean just that. No ghost writer. Its his words 110%. When I tell you I have been a voracious reader the last twenty years of my life I’m seriously not kidding. If it wasn’t for an Amazon Kindle I would have twenty bankers boxes of books instead of the eight in the garage now. Damien can write and he does it well. No not well, its damn good. No wait, not damn good, this guy can fucking write and tell a story.

We all have problems and issues we have to overcome in life. Damien shows us what real problems are and how he overcame them.  Damien illustrates how he survived death row and is now moving forward with an incredible outlook on life. Want to read a great story of hope, survival, and perseverance? Read this book! I got the book last night I am halfway through it. I can’t put it down. Its that good, seriously.

You guys have a great weekend. I need to go finish this book. I also need to make a chocolate peanut butter cake to show off to one of my bakerella friends. She thinks she owns the baking heavyweight title belt because one time she stacked a bunch of stale chocolate chip cookies together and called it cake. Ok the cookies werent stale and homemade, but damn it, I am the Rocky Balboa to her Apollo Creed when it comes to desert and cake and she is going down for the count!

Ding Ding!

Dilemma of civic responsibility.

The second of the three presidential debates is on tonight in less than an hour. Did Mit or Barack know that tonight is Sons of Anarchy night? Furthermore AMC is also running a Kevin Smith hosted Friday the 13th marathon on AMC all week. Its Halloween scary movie time.

What the MotherF?!

This is exactly the lack of leadership I have been bitching about in this country. You don’t schedule a debate in the middle of primo tv time at night when most of us have been working all day. You do that shit in the middle of day when we’re all screwing off at work on the internet.

I have a DVR and I can easily accommodate all three viewing options, but damn it, I shouldn’t have to.

Is it not bad enough that over the last few months every single commercial on TV is Obama bullshitting about what Romney is going to take away or lying about now, and that his awesome non existent plan for anything other then piss away more money and sink us further in debt is somehow the only reasonable solution? When is enough, enough?

Well damn it, they can take away more of my money. They can piss away my taxes on more green energy companies that go out of business seven months later, but they are not going to take away my Sons of Anarchy or Jason Voorhees hacking off arms and heads around Camp Crystal Lake any more. They can have some douche ask them in a town hall meeting about their favorite Pizza Hut pizza, but they will never take OUR TV FREEDOM!

This is Bush league psyche-out shit. Laughable, man – ha ha! Presidential debate, I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Monday instead. Wooo! You got a date Monday, baby!

Guess I better check all my DVR settings and make another white russian.

This agression wont stand man.

The Dude most certainly does not, abide!

She grew up in an Indiana town

I was introduced and we both started groovin’
I said, “I dig you baby, but I got to keep movin’ on”

Another great weekend has come to pass. Naturally it went way too fast as they always do. I can’t bitch though, Felix Baumgartner’s weekend went way faster then mine. About 800+ MPH to be exact.

I have to give the guy credit and respect. Not for actually doing the stunt. Its been done before. Not quite as high, but there is a lot to be said when you are the first to do something like this with 1960’s technology.

What I do have respect for in Baumgartner is that he stuck to his dream of doing this and through all the set backs with law suits and money backer problems he followed through.

You and I can learn to skydive easy enough. Hell the army teaches retards how to do it at Ft Benning every year. (trust me I have met lots of them they are in fact retards. Marines! First to fight! Semper Fi!) Jumping out of planes and skydiving is not overly complicated. Doing it from the edge of space however and you’re more relying on your technical equipment to keep you alive. I am glad Felix got someone better then Walmart or Old Navy to build his suit and balloon.

In the end I think the biggest hurdle is conquering your own fears. In that regard Felix is an damn good example of what we can do and overcome.

NFL

The Jets move one into the “W” column this weekend as did Miami. Not bad, however it was a pleasure to watch Seattle break one off in New England’s ass. I love the Jets and always have, even in the lost years, but this abortion with Sanchez and Tebow is just not sitting right with me. Some kind of parity needs to be reached here and I have a suspicion that Sanchez isn’t long for the ride.

TV

Walking Dead season three started last night. I know I am not the only one excited and or watching this series. What did you guys think? I thought the season was a little slow last year, but this year the new season started off great. Lots of zombie killing and the best part was hacking off Hershel’s leg with the axe. Thats primo TV if you ask me.

Comic Book Men also started its new season last night. If you’re not familiar with Comic Book Men its also on AMC. It revolves around Kevin Smith’s comic book store in Red Bank NJ, that some close friends of his run and manage. Its almost like Pawn Stars but with comic books and related nerd type toys. Its an excellent show and if you’ve ever listened to any of Kevin Smiths podcasts from his SMODCAST network then you will immediately recognize a lot of the characters on this show.

Weekend

I know the question that is burning in everyones head. Did this jackass pressure clean the driveway? No. I was much too nice out. Theres always today though. Right after I mow the grass and start some laundry, because I didn’t do any of that crap either. Yes folks I pretty much took a knee this weekend. After work today, Monday has a beating waiting for me thats is for certain. No problem I can do it. Hey some douche just skydived from space in a  set of under-roos and a Star Trek walkie talkie. I can do anything damn it!!

Something just occurred to me.

NASA

We just put a man, and his equipment into the stratosphere (22+miles) with nothing but a helium balloon. Why the hell did NASA go broke building and maintaining those junk shuttles for 30+ years?

Build a couple of shuttles. Conventionally put them in low earth orbit which is accepted to be about 99 miles in altitude, then leave them there on auto-pilot. Put a few gas tanks in orbit too. Why send astronauts in and out of space with a rocket from the ground each time? Just send the astronauts up in lawn chairs and helium balloons  3/4 of the way and the rest of the way with a small jet pack to the shuttle waiting for them.

When the mission is over, they park the shuttle in its maintenance orbit, clean the toilets, pump out the shitter tanks, put a new crown air freshener on the dashboard and parachute back to earth.

The only thing limiting the lifting altitude of a helium ballon is the ability of the balloon material to expand without popping. NASA made velcro, can they not create material for a super balloon?

Our atmosphere is made up mostly of nitrogen and oxygen. Scientists already know Helium in its natural state occupies the top level of the atmosphere. All we would need to solve is the problem of material expansion of the balloon as it gets higher and higher. Even if the balloon only took the astronaut 2/3 or 3/4 of the way to the waiting shuttle or space capsule its got to be cheaper and easier to send just the people in and out of space rather then all the equipment every single time.

Look at this! Some Youtube, a pen, some napkins and a few beers and I just solved all of NASA’s space exploration issues in one weekend while scratching my ass and BBQ’s some hamburgers on my Big Green Egg. What the hell are we paying all those people with great big brains to do?

Enjoy your Monday as best you can. I have got to catch up on what I pissed off on this weekend. 😉

Brock

Turkey Pot Pie

In this recipe we’ll explore a very simple and easy to make turkey pot pie.

While I show and make my turkey pot pies in a fancy little pot pie maker from Williams Sonoma, do not fear. You can use this exact recipe to make a normal sized pot pie in a pie plate/dish in a conventional oven.

This recipe is good for getting rid of a lot of leftovers in in the fridge. You can also use this exact same recipe for Chicken Pot Pie, if you want to replace the word turkey for chicken. Its the exact same thing. I had turkey to get rid in my case.

I have broken this recipe down into three parts. Stock, Pie Dough and Pie Filling. Divide and conquer then it all falls into place with very little work.

Stock

You need about 2-1/2 cups of chicken stock for this recipe. You can certainly buy chicken stock in the grocery store and use it. If you enjoy cooking you know most good recipes call for good stock. I like having stock on hand. It keeps just fine in the refrigerator and you can use it in anything. Rice, potatoes, anywhere you need water in a recipe you can substitute chicken stock to add or increase flavor. You like gravy? Then you know about stock. Its easy enough to buy stock in the store. Here is the problem. Its absolutely loaded with sodium. Even the lower sodium options are still full of salt. Its just a fact of life with store bought stock.

Watch how easy it is to make your own stock to have on hand when ever you want.

Do you eat chicken? What do you do with the leftover bones and carcasses and necks? You throw ’em away don’t you? Well stop. Every time you make chicken, save the bones and necks and wing tips and put them into a zip lock freezer bag and freeze them. I do this all the time. (If I remember) I’ll have a bag of chicken bones / part in the freezer for six months or more. Don’t even care about freezer burn. When I get a bag full of chicken bones and parts its time to make stock.

Ingredients:

  • 2 onions quartered
  • 3 carrots busted up
  • 3 celery stalks busted up
  • 1 gallon of water (or whatever your stock pot can hold)
  • 1 tablespoon salt
  • 1/2 tablespoon pepper
  • Chicken bones parts and pieces. (I don’t even know what the hell I had in the bag, I think there was a turkey breast from 2011, some chicken bones and wings etc)

You don’t have to peel the onions or carrots or cut up the celery. Just chop and or break it all up into chunks that will fit in pot with the chicken pieces. Put it all into a good sized stock pot or large pot and cover with tap water.

This is important. It all goes into the pot cold with just regular tap water. Then you turn on the heat to medium high. You want to start cold.

When the pot just begins to bubble, reduce the heat to medium / medium-low. You want the pot to just barely bubble along, NOT rapid boil. You do this for a couple reasons, but mostly to keep from getting a cloudy stock. You want your stock nice and clear.

You are going to simmer the water gently for about 2 -1/2 hours. The stock will reduce but thats ok. You are concentrating flavor. In the end you will wind out with about 2 to 3 quarts of stock.

After 2-1/2 hours turn off heat and let it cool on the stove for 20-30 minutes. After it has cooled off a bit, strain the stock into a container large enough to hold the liquid. Discard the bits and pieces of vegetable and bones.

 

Refrigerate the strained liquid. The fat in stock will solidify at the top when you refrigerate the liquid. You can then spoon this off before you using the stock. Look how easy this was to make. Fresh homemade chicken stock. You can keep this in fridge for a month or more. Use it in anything. Try it, I dare you.

Pie Dough

Pie dough is just like stock. You can buy it in the grocery store easy enough. You can also make your own any time you want with just a few basic ingredients. Pie dough isn’t hard to make. Don’t let a bunch of old ladies from church convince you that you need 300 hundred years of experience to make a good pie dough. Not true. If you follow a few steps you can make pie dough whenever you want. Good pie dough too.

You may think good pie dough is made with butter. Your grandmother may have taught you this over many years. I am going to tell you something right now. Your grandmother is wrong. Period the end. Pie dough is very simply made with Crisco shortening. Crisco shorting has two places in this world. The movie Caligula by Bob Guccione with Malcolm McDowell and pie dough. That is all plain and simple. Never forget!

I made a double batch of pie dough in this recipe. Enough to make two nine inch pies or in my case 8 mini pies. You can half this dough recipe to make one nine inch pie or four mini pies if you have a mini pie maker like mine.

Ingredients:

  • 4 cups of all purpose flour
  • 1-1/2 cup of VERY COLD Crisco shortening
  • 1 teaspoon of salt.
  • 8-10 tablespoons of  ice cold water

Flour salt and cold Crisco into a food processor or large bowl. Pulse in processor a few times just until the dough looks like a course corn meal. Crumbly like but still loose. It took me about 6-7 one second pulses. If you have no processor, you and use a pie dough cutter or even your hands to crush and break up the Crisco in the flour. Just remember to stop when you get to a course mealy texture.

Now, if you have a processor, while its running add the ice cold water tablespoon by tablespoon. Should get to about 8 tablespoons. The dough will all of a sudden come together into a ball. Turn off the processor. If your doing this in a bowl by hand, add the water, and combine with dough into a ball.

When the dough comes together, pour the dough out to a floured surface and knead gently together two or three times. Don’t handle too much. Divide dough into 2 or 4 equal parts depending on if you make the full double recipe of dough I show here or if you halved the recipe.

Form the divided dough into small disk like shapes, place into individual quart size zip lock bags or wrap each in plastic wrap. Freeze the dough.

Here are the key items to remember to make great pie dough. Use very cold Crisco. Work quickly and do not over handle the dough. The less you pulse and knead the dough the better. Remember we want to keep the Crisco and dough cold. Make the dough, divide the dough, wrap the dough and get it back into the freezer ASAP with as little handling and kneading as possible.

Pie Filling

Where home free lets make the filling and get this over with. I am hungry.

Ingredients:

  • I onion diced
  • I small bag of frozen peas and carrots
  • 2-1/2 cups of your chicken stock
  • 3 cups diced up cooked turkey. I had some smoked turkey breast to get rid of but remember you can easily use chicken if you want.
  • 2 tablespoons flour
  • 1/4 cup of water
  • Salt and pepper to taste

Sauté the diced up onion in a pan over medium high heat with butter and olive oil.

Sauté the onion until it gets translucent about 4-5 minutes. Next throw in the small bag of frozen peas and carrots and continue to sauté and heat the frozen vegetables. 3 or 4 more minutes.

Now its time to add the stock. Pour it in there and deglaze the pan. Add your cooked turkey too. Heat it all through. It will start to boil again. While you’re waiting for the stock to return to a boil, whisk the 2 tablespoons of flour with 1/4 cup of water. When the stock in the pan has returned to a boil add the flour slurry to the pan of boiling stock and stir well to  combine. Bring this all to a boil one last time. Stock in the pan will thicken to a gravy. Season to taste with the salt and pepper. Kill the heat.

You have just made the filling. We’re in the home stretch now. Lets assemble the pot pies.

Heat your pie maker up if you’re using one or heat your oven to 350 degrees.

Get your dough from the freezer about 20 minutes before you want to use it. I took mine out when I started to make the pie filling. You can make this dough ahead of time and keep in the freezer for a week or more. Its up to you.

Roll the dough out on a floured surface to the size you need for your pie plate / dish or pie maker. If using a pie plate or glass dish spay with non-stick spray. Place dough in maker or plate and mold into place accordingly.

Fill the pie with the filling. Cover with another piece of dough and crimp the edges. If cooking in the oven, make a few slits in top of dough with a knife to allow steam to escape.

I used my pie maker and essentially do the same thing. Place into oven and cook about 30-35 minutes. You’re just cooking the dough here. Everything else is already cooked through. In the pie maker it takes me about 14 minutes. So keep your eyes on your pies no matter what method you choose to cook them in.

That’s all there is to it. You just made from scratch turkey pot pies. You know exactly whats in the pies and none of the commercial preservatives and yellow number 6 food color crap.

A little involved? Mmmm yeah. But the satisfaction of making something this good is worth it. I make the small pies in the pie maker and freeze a bunch of them. You can make one or two pies and even freeze the big ones to eat another day. Just reheat in the oven at 350 until heated through.

We don’t get much fall or winter here in Florida to enjoy this hearty type wintery food, but you northerners don’t lack any cold to bust these out. Try these. Just don’t eat one while watching the movie Caligula.