Monthly Archives: August 2012

Hello cowgirl in the sand.

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Is this place at your command Can I stay here for a while
Can I see your sweet sweet smile

Another week comes to an end as we get ready to celebrate the long Labor Day weekend.

I have been thinking about what I need to get done. Grocery shopping, cut the grass, laundry, vacuum and Lucas wants that land crab to back his ass up from his sliding glass door.

Its funny. Although Lucas has only been around the house for a week now, I can see that he has settled in and thinks he’s home. The erratic running around sniffing and checking out everything in sight has subsided. It’s funny how dogs if shown the least bit of compassion and interest, will instantly return those same things back only unconditionally and without regard to what you did last week, month, year. It’s too bad people cant seem to learn to live the same way.

As evidenced in the picture above, from the rains earlier this week, we have been inundated with blue land crabs looking for drier ground. From time to time one or two crabs will get on the back porch and click around near the window and piss Lucas off. Lucas gives me a look like “come on man let me get to that bastard and gnash it to death”. I don’t have the heart to turn him loose and and see him get his nose pinched. However I just looked the crabs up, and they are in fact edible. Hmmm.

This one is short and sweet. I need to get my yard in shape. All the rain we had this week, and the grass is growing like hair on the upper lip of some very Mediterranean women of Sardinian decent. (Which is perfectly ok Mediterranean women of Sardinian decent, no offense)

Stay tuned, Labor Day weekend means BBQ and I am thinking the Weber Smoker is coming out of retirement. Brisket.

Have fun.
Be Safe.
TGIF
Never take a “No it won’t fit” for an answer.

 

When the levee breaks, mama you got to move

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Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan.

Well, we got a little rain around here from TS Isaac as it moved past Florida on its way to douche out that famous chocolate city of New Orleans. I kind of feel bad for the residents of New Orleans, but then again if I get another hundred pictures of Looter Man, I say “Isaac, douche away.” After all who will New Orleans blame this time? Bush is in Texas. Brownie is doing a good job somewhere else. I wonder if Spike Lee will feel motivated enough to create another documentary.

As for our own screwed up local politics involving this debacle, which really wasn’t a debacle past the customary “rain event” associated with these weather anomalies, it seems a few municipalities were in the crosshairs of the ineptness of the South Florida Water Management District once again. This is the agency in control of all the major water canals and other drainage systems to maintain the water level of Lake Okeechobee. They achieve this with a system of locks/dams and other pumps and spillways. Granted there is only so much anyone can do when you get more then a foot of rain in a day, but the imbeciles at SFWMD dropped the ball affecting some western low lying communities in Palm Beach. If SFWMD isn’t actively destroying the eco systems in every natural waterway in Florida (Indian River, Everglades) when they needlessly pump water off the lake for no reason, then the jackasses fall asleep at the switch and do nothing to get ready to handle an excessive amount of water when the need is there. Government at work.

Hold on a second. Someone knocking at the door. BRB

Ok that was easy. “Sister Mary and Sister Elizabeth” just stopped by at 7:45pm on a Wednesday night to ask if I have committed my soul to my lord and savior Jesus Christ. I told them I wasn’t interested since last month when I invited in some Jehovah’s witnesses and then they wouldn’t leave until they ate all my Spaghettio’s then touched me in my “no no place” telling me thats where the devil lives. They weren’t happy that I wasn’t falling for that trick again.

Back to the blog.

Ann Romney gave a little speech last night. Personable, animated, sincere and to the point. I think she got a message across to the women whom she was trying to connect with. I gave her a solid B. She blows away Michelle Obama in the fact she doesn’t have a chip on her shoulder and thinks the country owes her something. Refreshing.

Lastly Ann Romney for a 60 something year old woman, I’d more then likely run one up in her in only a mildly inebriated way. Ok thats BS. I’d do it stone cold sober just to say I graduated to some nice 1%’er ass. Yes ladies and gentlemen of the whatsupbrock.com blog this election I am strictly selecting my next presidential candidate on the nominees wife I fantasize the most about having filthy, dirty Sanchez, three fingered mexican oil change sex with in the most egregious way. I could be a reasonable member of society and research the nominees points and beliefs, but lets be serious for a second. The two party system as it stands today basically just screws us no matter which lever we pull. I figure turnabout is fair play.

 

I see the words on a rocking horse of time.

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I see the birds in the rain.

Today in 1991 Pearl Jam’s debut studio album Ten was released. I have pretty much followed this bands success from that moment on. Say what you will about Mookie Blaylock’s (bands original name) politics with Ticket Master, MTV videos, commercial success and there is one thing that remains. Their music has stood the test of time and as one of the last continuously standing “Northwest Seattle Grunge” bands still performing and making music to this day, that says something. Nirvana? Alice in Chains? Sound Garden? (ok Sound Garden is semi out of retirement but you see the trend)

Does anyone remember 1991 musically? I do. We were on edge of the abyss with makeup and hair metal staring into the dark void of what we would call pop music by a bunch of tween Mickey Mouse Club kids. Lets not forget the boy bands who banked on choreographed dance moves and lip syncing to account for the fact their voices hadn’t dropped with the onset of puberty.

Did grunge save music in the early 90’s? No. What it did do is give a few of us generation x’ers a horse to attach our wagons to. We got the hell out of the 90’s musically in a car that may have looked like shit but she was running on a tuned and supped up V-8 with a decent stereo. That engine today is still running she’s got some miles on her but she is still firing on all eight cylinders. The stereo fades in and out and sometimes plays political ads no one really cares about, but if you listen past the static and the creaking suspension, that music blaring about lost love with hands cradling broken glass and momentarily everything going to Black, in the end we’re all still Alive.

I have seen Pearl Jam live every time they have been to Florida in the last twenty years. I have stood on line for tickets I have stood on line to get to the front of the stage at venues. After all these years and their politics aside, when a band can sell out 15,000-20,000 seat outdoor arena’s every night and watch 20,000 people on their feet with hands in air sing every single verse to every single song the band has ever recorded, and in some way that music somehow touches your life, thats a pretty good F’ing horse to have hooked your wagon to.

Thank you Pearl Jam.

<insert Yellow Ledbetter here>

Chicken Sandwiches

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Its pretty simple to make an accurate representation of the famous sandwich at home for a fraction of the cost. The trick is the chicken needs to be brined for six hours or overnight is even better.

1.Dissolve 1/2 cup salt and 1/4 cup of sugar in a quart of cold water. Place skinless, boneless chicken breasts in brine. Cover and refrigerate for at least six hours or like I mentioned above over night.

2.Remove chicken from brine and rinse with cold water. Dry breasts with paper towel.

3.Mix two eggs with a cup of milk in container.

4.Make spice mixture of 2 tablespoon pepper, 1 tablespoon paprika, 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper, 1 teaspoon MSG

5.Mix 1 1/2 cups flour, with 2 tablespoons dry milk, 1 tablespoon of baking powder,1 teaspoon salt, 1 teaspoon sugar and half the spice mixture in step 4. listed above.

6.Season chicken breast with spice mixture, then dredge in milk/egg solution then place in flour mixture and cover with and pat down with the seasoned flour. Shake off excess flour.

7.Fry the chicken breasts in 350 degree peanut oil for about 4-6 minutes based on breast size.

8.Toast hamburger buns in melted butter in a non-stick frying pan.

You assemble the sandwiches by placing a few dill pickles slices on the bottom of butter toasted buns. Then simply place the fried chicken on the bun with the pickles and top with the other bun half.

Middle Eastern Lamb Burgers

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Recipe via Regan Bums on Chow.com

•2 pound ground lamb

•1/2 cup minced red onion

•2 medium garlic clove, minced

•4 tablespoons finely chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves

•4 teaspoons finely chopped fresh mint leaves

•2 teaspoon kosher salt

•1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

•1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

•8 burger buns

Gently mix the meat with all the other ingredients, form into patties and grill over direct medium fire about ten (10) minutes per side.

Top the burgers with the following cucumber and cumin yogurt relish. Also found on www.chow.com

•6 medium Kirby cucumbers, peeled, halved lengthwise, and seeded

•1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

•1/4 cup Greek-style yogurt or sour cream

•2 tablespoons white wine or red wine vinegar

•2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh Italian parsley leaves

•2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh mint leaves

•2 teaspoons granulated sugar

•1 teaspoon whole coriander seed, crushed to a powder

•1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

•1/4 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper

Stuffed Bread

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3 cups (12 3/4 oz) All purpose flour. I use King Arthur for all baking period the end.
1 tablespoon sugar
1/4 cup Non-fat dry milk powder
2 tablespoons of potato flour. If you cant find it, you can substitute instant mashed potatoes
1 1/4 teaspoons of salt
2 tablespoons of olive oil
2 1/2 teaspoons of instant yeast. I use SAF yeast for all baking period the end.
I cup (8 oz) of warm water.

Put all dough ingredients into a mixer with dough hook or a bowl and mix/knead until cohesive dough forms. 5 minutes mixer

Cover bowl with plastic wrap and let rise for an hour.

Place dough on lightly floured surface, roll out into a rectangle 12″X18″

Now here you can do what you want for filling. Spread with mustard or not. Leave about an inch space around perimeter. Layer with ham, cheese, Salami, whatever you like.

Roll the dough lengthwise into a roll. Tuck ends underneath and try and pinch the seams to close.

Place roll/loaf on baking sheet with parchment or silpat, cover with plastic again and let rise for another 1.5 to 2 hours. Loaf will puff up. Take scissors and cut about a 1 or 2 inch long slit across the top every few inches.

375 degree oven for 35 minutes.

Let cool for 5-10 minutes, slice and eat.

 

And sometimes is seen a strange spot in the sky

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…a human being that was given to fly.

We lost a good one today. Neil Armstrong decided to check out for the last time this afternoon.

Sadly his death isn’t completely  shocking to me. At the age of 81 earlier this month Dr. Armstrong underwent heart surgery. His family has indicated he succumbed to complications from the cardiovascular procedures.

Living in Florida most of my life and living in the vicinity of the Kennedy Space Center during the closing years of the Apollo and later Space Lab missions, I can tell you the significance of NASA and space exploration had on me as a young boy. Every kid wanted to be an astronaut. Mr. Rogers had Apollo astronauts on his program. Sesame Street had astronauts on the program next to Ernie and Bert. However for me it was The Six Million Dollar Man. Col. Steve Austin the NASA pilot who crashes the x-plane and gets bionics. I ate that shit up.

As a small kid I got to go to Kennedy space center in its heyday. However the biggest impact was when NASA launched Sky Lab. We live about fifteen miles south of Kennedy/Patrick AFB in those days. Shy lab was launched on one of the remaining Saturn V boosters that was intended to take an Apollo crew to the moon before the program was shut down. I may have been all of five or six years old. We were on the beach living in Satellite Beach at the time. If you never saw an actual Saturn V launch in person I doubt I can put into  words the description of the events. I can however tell you from a five or six year olds perspective that it must be something incredible because we were at the beach fifteen miles or so away and I can clearly remember the surf was very calm that day. When the rocket took off, there was literally ripples in the Atlantic ocean as far as a six year old could see from the vibration of the launch. That day has stuck with me all my life. Neil Armstrong rode in one of those machines. What a lucky SOB. What balls that man must have had.

In honor of Neil’s death and the passing of a truly great American, I made my special Stuffed Bread for dinner. Check it below.

 

This is a recipe that I have been working on for about a year. Think a loaf of bread with the  ham and swiss cheese built in. Astronauts in the early days had to eat a lot of compact and freeze dried food. This is essentially a ham and swiss cheese sandwich loaf of bread right down to the mustard. Its all baked together. The bread is a simple cross between a stromboli and italian bread dough. I may have boosted the base recipe for the dough from King Arthurs cook book a couple years ago. You can pretty much do anything with it. I figured what the hell, why make a loaf of bread to make a sandwich when I can make it all at the same time. Im hardly the inventor of this as I have noted some similar recipes for this around the internet.

Simple really. Make the dough, let rise. Roll it out and spread on mustard, ham, and swiss cheese. Roll up, form into a loaf like shape, pinch edges of dough closed and let rise again. Bake 375 degrees for 35 minutes. Cool, slice then stuff face.

This is not on par with strapping ones ass to 7.5 million pounds of thrust heading to the moon, but I am proud of this none the less. Without Neil Armstrong and the early NASA astronauts fueling an entire generation of kids like myself to build and explore who knows, tonight I could have been blogging about opening up a can of beans and discussing the fart capacity between Campbell’s and Bush’s.

If theres interest in the recipe, make a note in the comments and I’ll post a print friendly version for you.

So long and happy journey Neil Armstrong. Buzz wont be bitching about you going first on this one.

 

“Edwina’s insides were a rocky place where my seed could find no purchase”

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Probably one of the greatest lines in a movie since Coppola’s “I love the smell of napalm in the  morning.”

So what exactly does this entry have to do with the movie Raising Arizona? Good question reader. Nothing really. Well that’s not entirely true. I did watch the movie last week, and thought about how much I enjoy pretty much all of the Coen brothers movies.

In fact while watching Raising Arizona last week, for dinner I made Nathan’s hotdogs. See the connection? Nathan’s hotdogs, and Nathan Arizona! If there are two things I enjoy in life its great cinema and a punch your mother in the throat its so good, hotdog.

You see I know a good movie when I see one. I know a damn good hotdog when I eat one. The only difference being I probably couldn’t go out tomorrow and make a great movie unless of course I pull a Howard Hughes and throw the family tool making fortune into it.

In the case of hotdogs though, I am like a damned Leonardo da Vinci to the world of encased meats. I have made them all and ate them all. I have traveled the world and at all costs have ate a hotdog everywhere I have been. The best in the world hands down are Nathan’s famous hotdogs. You know the company by the hotdog eating championships held each July 4th broadcast on ESPN.

 

Now Nathan’s while technically a New York dog, they differ slightly from the typical “dirty water” hotdogs sold from the carts in the city. Nathan’s is over in Brooklyn. Coney Island to be geographically correct.

Don’t confuse any respectable NY hotdog whether sold from a dirty water mobile cart on a street corner to a Papaya King, or the Mecca that is Nathan’s Famous as a “coney dog”. That coney dog shit started with the midwesterners in Michigan and they dictate chili, while onions, and mustard. In NY from my experience they love the cooked/stewed  red onion sauce.  Its all a matter of personal taste. Me, I’ll mix it up from time to time with kraut, relish, chili, all the way to the Chicago or Sonoran dogs.

This night was a simple chili, red onion, and a line or two of yellow mustard.

I will make this statement, and I hope and pray for your souls if you think otherwise. Ketchup NEVER goes on a hotdog. I don’t even give a pass to toddlers or pre-schoolers and the only way to get them to eat or face death by starvation is to put ketchup on a hotdog. “Little Johnny is going to die if I don’t put ketchup on his hotdog.” Then guess what? Get Karl Childers to whack that turd in the head with a lawnmower blade, call the hearse and go eat biscuits and mustard. NO ketchup on hotdogs! EVER!

So I hope you enjoyed this primer on hotdogs. Nathan’s hotdogs are sold in most popular grocery stores and if not available in your specific locations you can always order them directly from Nathan’s online. I’ve provide the link for you below so you don’t break your precious Google click finger.

Nathan’s Famous

 

Tamper if you like between the doors.

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I suggest you step out on your porch.
Run away my son to see it all.

Guess we should update everyone on the “Help me name my new dog poll”.

Say hello to “Lucas Jackson War Hero”.  Lucas came home with me yesterday after working at the shelter. No more crate of shame and he seems all the more happy for it. (although he does have a crate here his is going to live in when I am not home)

As one may expect he’s been running around sniffing and checking out the new digs. So far so good no accidents in house. I am pretty certain he’s housebroken but I take him out often and watch him like a hawk. Lucas isn’t afraid of water as he walked right into the shower last night when I called him so he got his first bath. If I lay down, he lays down. If I get up, he gets up. I seem to have another shadow again.

This weekend will be mostly chilling out with Lucas and getting him used to his new home. Well that and probably getting douched out by tropical storm Isaac. We could use the rain in Florida so it’s hardly an issue other then for the local news and weather stations getting everyone into a full on “oh shit a storms coming” lather. Happens at least fifteen times each hurricane season down here. No native Floridians pay any attention to hurricane warnings until sixty hours out. Anything more in hurricane prognostication is at best a wild ass’d guess no matter what “computer” models may show you or how much the local weather imbecile may be ranting.

So with this entry I’ll bust out a TGIF, and hope everyone has a decent weekend.

 

Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song

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I get by with a little help from my friends.

I get high with a little help from my friends.

I am going to try with a little help from my friends.

Working at the shelter today and I was greeted by this little guy. We go way back. Way back to about two weeks ago. You see he was adopted out early last week. Prior to that time he and I had made good friends. He’s a 2-3 year old Cocker Spaniel. I would go down to his room in shelter and hang out with him. He was always in good spirits, behaved, and would come right up to me, stick his nose in my ear and lick my ear lobe. Just a good all around dog and I liked hanging out with him. As I said he had been adopted out so I never thought more of it. Until this morning.

Came into the shelter this morning and there he was as you can see above in the “crate of shame” since another K9 took up residence in his old room. I asked why he was back and one of the shelter workers told me “he bit the woman whom had adopted him” and that in fact “had bit the old man that had adopted him prior to this incident”. I told shelter worker how surprised I was because I had spent time with the dog and thought he was great. That’s when the shelter worker told me that since this was his second time being brought back for biting that they were thinking the dog wasn’t going to be adoptable and they were going to have to call a Cocker Spaniel rescue somewhere to see if they could unload him.

Yeah, it took me about twenty minutes before I raised my hand and offered to foster him and give him another chance. You see I used to be a hard-nosed son of a bitch in this manner but as I have gotten older I have found myself always looking for the hard cases and I am a firm believer in second and hell sometimes even third chances. I have screwed up plenty in my life and frankly if it weren’t for some close people and family believing in me, I wouldn’t be here blogging about this now.

So with any luck tomorrow evening I am springing this little guy from his crate of shame to come home with me.

Emotionally I have made peace with losing Lucille. Mostly. 🙁 So Its time and this little shit could use a friend right about now. So could I. Home he is coming.

Now for the fun part. You may have noticed a lot of “He’s” and no name. Well it seems some at the shelter have been calling him “Playto” but he doesn’t respond to that or any other name due to the circumstances of his short but awkward life. This is where you the reader comes in. You’re all going to help me name him. So get to voting. The dog is a hard case. Lucas Jackson was a hard case. I like Lucas, but you can vote for any of the below suggestions. You can also leave a comment with a name not on the list if you want. We’ll tally up the votes this time tomorrow and highest vote wins and this dog will be forever named by the faithful readers of this blog.

What sealed fostering this dog for me? When I first looked at him a couple weeks ago, the very first thing that came to my mind was that he almost looked like a Golden Retriever just with short legs. Today I text messaged a picture of him to my friend Amy who is also a dog lover, and she replied to me, “he looks like a Golden Retriever only shorter”. F’ing Karma right there man.

So lets get out the vote friends. This election is better then the one coming in November. You get more then two choices and all the choices are better then those two lame asses we get for the White House this November.

What should I name my new dog?

  • Lucas (75%, 6 Votes)
  • Coconut-Head (13%, 1 Votes)
  • Babalugats (13%, 1 Votes)
  • Dragline (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 8

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